Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5346 of 5593

   messageicon There is no I in team, but there are four in platitude-quoting idiot
←Rate | 12-15-2010 11:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hosting a Mayan calendar party on Dec 22, 2012. Disregard this announcement if the world ends on Dec 21, 2012. Also, if the earth's magnetic field does not reverse by then, I'm planning to sponsor a pole flipping contest.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 11:17 by Stragen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chaos: What erupts when he-who-lives-in-a-glass-house invites he-who-is-without-sin for dinner.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 11:01 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if only super glue worked on ANYTHING as well as gluing it's own cap on........
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon never forget the 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:42 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:41 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:40 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon making a list and checking it twice......Its a hit list and you do not want to be on it!
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hasn't bought a single Christmas gift yet.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know its a bad economy when you are getting less bang for your buck with a hooker...
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friends keep saying that they wish there was a "dislike" button on Facebook. Personally, I would have a lot more fun with a "That's what she said" button
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my friends keep saying they want a "dislike" button on Facebook. Personally, I think it would be a lot more fun with a "that's what she said" button
←Rate | 12-15-2010 09:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank you Facebook for your new dumb layout & for me having to click my status update 52 times for it to take....
←Rate | 12-15-2010 09:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon making my list and checking it twice due to early on-set senility!
←Rate | 12-15-2010 09:30 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't think you should ever compliment a lady on her mustache... no matter how magnificent it is.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 09:22 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hello Wednesday morning....for a moment, I thought you were your friend, Friday! Forgive the disappointed look!"
←Rate | 12-15-2010 08:54 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Would Never Be With Someone Just Because They Were Financially Stable. I Would Rather Live In A Trash Can With The Love Of My Life, Than To Live In A Mansion With Someone That Activates My Gag Reflexes.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 08:50 Comments (1)  


   messageicon dreaming of a 'backcolor=#FFFFFF' Christmas.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 08:05 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can read this, chances are you won't be recieving a gift from me this Christmas. Happy Holidays!
←Rate | 12-15-2010 07:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3:48 a.m. i'd like a double cheeseburger, and some fries ... 'sorry we only have breakfast'
←Rate | 12-15-2010 07:41 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left