Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   War does not determine who is right – only who is left

   I wish that some conversations came with a fast-forward button.

   not taking coupons from giant chickens anymore. Not after last time.

   I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me...

   Five bucks says I'm totally broke.

   wishes Jersey Shore was like survivor, so they could all vote Sammi off the island.

   The Social Network...Probably the first time I've actually read the book before I saw the movie ...

   The worst part about waking up alone is not having someone to kick out of bed to make me coffee.

   Why are all the birds dyin? seahawks, falcons, ravens, eagles

   An angry mob of nerds can be dangerous. The only thing stopping them from tipping cars is physical ability.

   Reckons that in the right light,at the right angle,if you squint & stand on on leg,I might look like I give a damn

   Facebook should have a ”no one cares” button

   I put minute rice in a slow cooker and it took 3 hours

   Money doesnt buy happiness it buys crazy a$$ happiness

   eating a raccoon taco, anybody want some?

   if Tyler Perry controlled facebook, it would have more drama and more cross dressing old men with family lessons....Be glad Tyler Perry does not own Facebook.

   Happy National Nothing Day!

   thinking why the hell are people confusing Green Hornet and Green Lantern... The only similarity is the word "Green"...No wonder movies like "Vampire Sucks" and "Disaster Movie", is able to achieve number 1 status. -_-

   thinks someone needs to falcon punch Gucci Mane in his ice cream loving face...

   thinking Gucci Man is retarded; what kind of man get a tattoo of an ice cream cone on my face? Everyone knows Ice Cream is the least threating foods of the food groups... What an idiot.