Funny Status Messages

   One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too

   you know that show to catch a predator?waiting for the episode when the cameras come out and the guy pulls a fred sanford heart attack ...

   I look at my phone every time I hear the text or ringtone sounds in commercials.

   Think's that American Idol should bring back the "Trap Door" just to make it a little more interesting. \o/

   Dear Boys wearing skinny Jeans I can't breathe! Sincerely, Your Balls

   decided to become "The silent type." I'd let you know how that works out, but, you know, silence...

   Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go and still had the feeling that you wanted to stay?

   Having heard that Steve Jobs is in hospital with only his iPad to comfort him, I've decided to release the cure for pancreatic cancer into the public domain. But only in Flash.

   If I can wear my slippers and there's free food, I'm in.

   the me who wakes up in the morning has zero respect for the me who set the alarm the night before!

   as we get older we begin to enter the Metallic Age.....we get silver in our hair, gold in our teeth and lead in our pants!

   Humpty Dumpty now has a facebook page....Didn't he learn the first time to stay away from walls?

   Pac-Man teaches kids to eat as many pills as possible before you are caught. Thats so not cool Pac-Man!

   Super Mario Been Encouraging Men To take Stuff to get Bigger Since the 80's

   I personally know that being stupid is its own reward

   Last time I checked, it bounced.

   Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend ppl one by one.

   I don't care what you are having for dinner unless I'm invited to join you.

   I'm not pointing out your flaws, I'm pointing out my traits that are better than yours.

   I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn it people like me more than you.