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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I've been trying to teach my mate how to play golf recently but the problem seems to be his drive. His wife stands on it and doesn't let us out.
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02-25-2011 15:17 by
@clarkysj
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Nobody touch me for 5 minutes and give me a cigarette...I just filled my tank at the gas station
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02-25-2011 14:31 by
jdestrada
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Then the psychiatrist's gave me the good news: I was going to have a disorder named after me..
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02-25-2011 14:26 by
Wolf
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The problem with us beautiful people is that most people hate us.
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02-25-2011 14:12 by
Drew
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Facebook keeps suggesting me the friends... You may know.. But when I try adding them it again says do you know them...??
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02-25-2011 14:02
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I hate it when I go to sleep and forget to turn my swagg off.
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02-25-2011 13:50
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BBC News: "Ice Cream Company Launches Breast Milk Flavoured Ice Cream". I wonder if they will be doing raspberry nipple.
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02-25-2011 13:41 by
lemonpillow
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I'd like you more if facebook didn't update me on all your stupid thoughts……I said to myself….
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02-25-2011 13:29 by
M.A.C.
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just realized how valuable photoshop can be...when you need to pin something on your boss...like a donkey…for blackmail…
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02-25-2011 13:22 by
M.A.C.
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Kudos on the shaved balls, but try longer gym shorts next time….
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02-25-2011 12:57 by
M.A.C.
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believes there are two great rules in life: 1.) Never tell everything at once.
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02-25-2011 12:48 by
@The69Sheriff
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Dose the show glee remind anyone of the Mickey Mouse clubhouse?
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02-25-2011 12:41 by
Game
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Oh, I'm sorry....I didn't realize you were giving me a dirty look, I thought you were that ugly all of the time.
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02-25-2011 12:04 by
@mntnbikerbw
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sometimes I stare at a woman and wonder, "what would it take to stub her camel toe..."
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02-25-2011 11:49 by
M.A.C.
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Why do fat people wear so much perfume, it hides body odor, not fat.
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02-25-2011 11:39
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When a spambot tells you to click a link to take an IQ test, that IS the IQ test.
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02-25-2011 11:32 by
abbybaby34
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This weekend I will be drinking in Dog Beers, that way it doesn't sound like I am such a lush.
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02-25-2011 11:18 by
acreak
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I was up all night wondering why I have insomnia when it dawn on me.
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02-25-2011 11:03
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If it takes you more than an hour to answer a text message I will assume that you're dead.
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02-25-2011 11:00 by
abbybaby34
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Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis.
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02-25-2011 11:00 by
abbybaby34
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