Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I think it's hilarious people have profile pics up of them from 2 yrs ago. You do not look like that anymore, hunny. lol
←Rate | 03-14-2011 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEVER let someone know what annoys you...or you will fuel their fire...
←Rate | 03-14-2011 11:42 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between a Catholic mother and a Jewish mother? A Catholic mother says "If you don't eat this, I'll kill you.", a Jewish mother says "If you don't eat this, I'll kill myself.".
←Rate | 03-14-2011 11:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend just broke up with his Japanese girlfriend. I told him, don't worry, there are plenty more in the sea...
←Rate | 03-14-2011 11:00 Comments (4)  


   messageicon does anyone know where I am right now? Seriously...bring asprin if you do...
←Rate | 03-14-2011 10:53 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon In therory we gained an hour, I demand a recount!
←Rate | 03-14-2011 10:50 by mjoyce Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't flirt with women, I flirt with disaster.
←Rate | 03-14-2011 10:43 by @Torren_T Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when Pi Day falls on a Monday!
←Rate | 03-14-2011 10:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon March 14th the males alternative to Valentines Day... Look it up ladies Saltgrass is sounding good!!!!
←Rate | 03-14-2011 09:53 by jamesmay88 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son broke his Apple computer today and had the audacity to ask me to buy him a new one. I said, "Apples don't grow on f-kin trees you know!"
←Rate | 03-14-2011 09:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend said shes leaving me because I'm too reckless and keep taking stupid risks. I think that's what she said anyway. I was shaving my bollox with a chainsaw at the time.
←Rate | 03-14-2011 09:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi. I'm probably on-line, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't message back, it's you
←Rate | 03-14-2011 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon this "by name" person needs a burning stick OR a red hot poker shoved up their izass
←Rate | 03-14-2011 08:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This huge fat girl asked me how she looked in her short tight dress... I said PRECIOUS!
←Rate | 03-14-2011 07:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Who needs prostitutes when we have a government who screws us everyday and gets paid for it?"
←Rate | 03-14-2011 06:20 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will be a good girl..I will be a good girl..I will be good girl. O hell, we all know that won't happen.
←Rate | 03-14-2011 06:10 by Jen Briggs Comments (1)  


   messageicon Life can be hard. Life can be fun. Life can be kind and life can be mean. Have the right attitude and life can be whatever you want it to be! Smile :)
←Rate | 03-14-2011 06:01 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you dont like me remember its mind over matter, I dont mind and you dont matter
←Rate | 03-14-2011 05:54 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we were in a locked room together,and there was two warewovles ,and I had a gun,with two silver bullets...I will soot you twice
←Rate | 03-14-2011 05:49 by maaniebeukes Comments (0)  


   messageicon when you focus on problems, you will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you will have more opportunities.
←Rate | 03-14-2011 05:47 by Jen Briggs Comments (1)  



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