Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon sometimes, even the smallest apology will make me feel better; but most of the time, I think you're full of SH!T.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 23:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn girl your skinny! I rolled blunts fatter then you but you've been passed around more!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 23:39 by Lozo Comments (0)  


   messageicon not saying that girl I was dancing with at the club was a skank,...but some Febreze and Jesus wouldn't hurt that girl at all!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 23:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You see son, when two girls love each other very much they have this CUP…
←Rate | 03-16-2011 23:07 by **Sheldog** Comments (0)  


   messageicon The UN is just another organization who likes to bang their fists and holler about human rights and enjoy seeing their name in print.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 22:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In light of the impending nuclear catastrophe I have two words of advice for the Japanese… Double Tap
←Rate | 03-16-2011 22:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't speak proper English and use some punctuation when writing, why the hell should I listen to you concerning matters of politics and religion? You haven't even mastered the English language, much less know what's going on in the real world.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 22:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After seeing all the gang signs at the park idk which one I want to join :-P
←Rate | 03-16-2011 22:08 by byteme Comments (0)  


   messageicon Duh...I finally finished my brackets and I have Charlie Sheen WINNING!!!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 21:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he's snagged an old bottle. As he's taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 20:26 by Will (part one) Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what you're saying is you have a problem that is totally your problem but you'd like to find a way to make that problem my problem; but here's the problem, buddy, it's not my problem.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 20:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Turn the lake into beer,” he says. The genie goes “Poof!” and the lake turns into beer. He says to His buddy, “So what do you think?” The other guy says, “You jerk. Now we've got to piss in the boat.” happy St Patricks day!!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 20:25 by Will (part two) Comments (0)  


   messageicon My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 20:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was sitting in the store parking lot and noticed one of those "Smart Cars". I was at first thinking it was pretty cool until I saw the owner tying his Papa Murphy's pizzas to the roof.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 20:15 by Paul Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you knOw that if your awake for more than 72 hours you can get away with killing someone by pleading insanity. I'm on hour 56 I'll let you know tomorrow how things go.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 20:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what tomorrow is right? International have a good excuse to get way to wasted off of green beer day!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 20:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 19:57 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does AT&T allow phone calls on their network? Anyone know?
←Rate | 03-16-2011 19:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Try saying Whale Oil Beef Hooked without sounding like a drunk Irish man.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 19:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where am I going? and why am I in this handbasket?
←Rate | 03-16-2011 19:34 Comments (0)  



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