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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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women are attracted to danger... and there's nothing more dagerous than running with scissors.
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03-02-2011 19:26
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1300 should actually be like 1250 since about 50 of these pages are nothing but reposts.
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03-02-2011 18:01
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1300...yeah, that's a lot of pages. You have no idea how long it took me to go through all of them..
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03-02-2011 17:51
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire....
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03-02-2011 16:28 by
Grifter
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I am not nearly as funny or entertaining in person, but I sure think I am when I have a few drinks.
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03-02-2011 16:23
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Justin Bieber takes his relationship with Selena Gomez public. I think that it is so sweet that he's pretending to like girls....
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03-02-2011 16:08 by
scottyp
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If something is important enough in my life, it will be denoted by the fact I created an itunes playlist to represent it.
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03-02-2011 15:54
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Note to self...apparently management doesn't find the game of hide-and-go-seek as amusing as I do....which sucks 'cus I had an awesome hiding spot.
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03-02-2011 15:06
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Outraged that Charlie Sheen turned down my offer to do a spin off show called 2 ½ grams…
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03-02-2011 15:04 by
SEAN
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I am wondering if Snoop Dog ever watched Charlie Brown.
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03-02-2011 15:03 by
JimmyCos
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Just got some Tiger's Blood. Thanks Charlie!
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03-02-2011 14:34 by
@Torren_T
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don't pee on me and tell me it's raining... pee on me and tell me you love me.
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03-02-2011 14:27 by
@The69Sheriff
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there any way we can blame gas prices on Charlie Sheen?
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03-02-2011 14:06 by
Bill
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I was raised by my father----my mother left before I was born.
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03-02-2011 13:53
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I hate Indian givers. No wait, I take that back.
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03-02-2011 13:35 by
Santino
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Dear Dora, How do you get that t-shirt to fit over your head? Please tell me your secret because I would like to fit into these size 5 jeans. Sincerely, The Average Sized Woman
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03-02-2011 13:33 by
acreak
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I don't know what it is that you're doing to make it appear as if you're really stupid, but whatever it is, it's really working
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03-02-2011 13:28 by
scottyp
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Oatmeal raisin cookies are only eaten when mistaken for chocolate chip.
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03-02-2011 12:54 by
MyClueIs
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Somewhere out there, someone's grandma's recipe for dill bread reads ".. allow dill dough to rise".
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03-02-2011 10:31 by
CJ
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There is no greater revenge then one who dig's their own grave
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03-02-2011 10:07 by
Quinn
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