Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5052 of 5593

   messageicon If I wanted a job where I got screwed every day, I would have became a prostitute.
←Rate | 03-25-2011 02:21 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the those days where it felt like I was going through a mid 20s crisis. Then I realized I was past my mid 20s and that caused another crisis. On days like this there is only one man I turn to for guidance. Watching ALF
←Rate | 03-25-2011 00:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like being 29 years old and having your Mother threaten to ground you if you get another tattoo. Havent seen her this fired up since I got caught in a dirty chat room on AOL 3.0
←Rate | 03-25-2011 00:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charlie Sheen marched into JG Wentworth and got his money back no questions asked.
←Rate | 03-25-2011 00:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon taking off the 'friends' on facebook that have never liked my status . If you can't show in public that you don't agree with me on anything, well what kind of 'friend' are you ?!
←Rate | 03-25-2011 00:06 by ParisPenner=) Comments (0)  


   messageicon just got kicked out of JG Wentworth for marching in and demanding my money NOW!
←Rate | 03-25-2011 00:02 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I realize you are trying to protect a very expensive Jacket….But Mothballs STINK!!!! Who's the Genius that thought Storing anything in balls of chemical pesticide would be a good idea?
←Rate | 03-24-2011 23:47 by @gnarleycharley Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks facebook should be responsible for funding all these foreign wars it keeps getting us into.....Pay up, Zuckerburg!!!
←Rate | 03-24-2011 23:37 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel betrayed by ice cubes, like all they do is lie to me about how much drink I really have.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 23:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I walked into a bar... ...and who do I see sitting next to me but 50 Cent, and he's knitting a sweater... So I yelled to him, Gee you knit?
←Rate | 03-24-2011 22:54 by t2xo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess ima go to school in my boxers tomorrow since it's pajama day
←Rate | 03-24-2011 22:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Called into work.. Told them I pulled my liver..
←Rate | 03-24-2011 22:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The doctor told me not to lift anything heavy... so I'm going to have to start sitting down when I pee.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 22:26 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Left Bread Crumbs Behind So I'll Never Forget Where I Came From.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 20:48 by EricAlldayMotley Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1.You're reading my status. 2.You wanna keep reading. 4. You didn't notice I skipped 3. 5. You're checking. 6. You're smiling.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 20:46 by Taylor Friend Comments (0)  


   messageicon read tha Tiger Woods has a new Girlfriend who is 22 years old...does she not watch the news
←Rate | 03-24-2011 20:24 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Its my money and I need it now" I just wanna smack the sh*t out of J.G Wentworth!!!!
←Rate | 03-24-2011 19:41 by remy911 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dancing with the Stars 2011: The last time I saw the names of these "stars" was when I last played the Trivial Pursuit "Nobody Gives a Crap" Edition.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 19:05 by Joshman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Figured out what AT&T meant by 3G...it means my signal is Going....going....gone
←Rate | 03-24-2011 18:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok Charlie , If thats winning I want to be a loser the rest of my life
←Rate | 03-24-2011 18:34 by Josh frazier Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left