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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!
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03-06-2011 00:21
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I did 26 situps this morning. It's not a lot, but then again how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock?
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03-06-2011 00:17 by
Marshall the Great
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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
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03-06-2011 00:17
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One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you cant say out loud.
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03-06-2011 00:10 by
CrAbby
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There are three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen. People who watch things happen and people who say “What happened?”.
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03-05-2011 23:56
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If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
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03-05-2011 23:41
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As a girl walks into a typical club, she mentally prepares to be hit on by everything with a penis.
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03-05-2011 22:53 by
Seddy90
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Sheen 2012! Because there's nothing more bipartisan than tiger blood
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03-05-2011 22:23 by
byteme
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I heard the gas companies are going to be changing the grades of gasoline from regular, mid-grade, and supreme to tall, grande and venti...
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03-05-2011 22:07 by
Paul
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You don't just turn your swag on, you either got it or you don't.
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03-05-2011 21:40 by
TheOne
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I've decided to get rid of my bad habits...just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
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03-05-2011 21:34 by
Abbybaby34
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knows there are things money can't buy. But Ticketmaster is working on ways to charge you for them.
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03-05-2011 20:57 by
Charles35
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thinks laughter is the second best medicine. The best medicine is medicine.
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03-05-2011 20:55 by
Charles35
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thinks Diarrhea would be a beautiful name, if it didn't mean diarrhea.
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03-05-2011 20:52 by
Charles35
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Keep America beautiful. Swallow your beer cans.
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03-05-2011 20:50 by
Charles35
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Whenever I meet an honor student I tell them about their mom's bad driving.
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03-05-2011 20:43
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believes the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse is the ground.
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03-05-2011 20:38 by
Charles35
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thinks its cool for a guy to have sex with his female teacher. Unless he's home schooled.
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03-05-2011 20:25 by
Charles35
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if you take more than 2 minutes to repond in our chat, I shall assume I'm not high on your chat priority list and X out.
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03-05-2011 19:19
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There are three types of people in this world: Those that get math and those that don't.
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03-05-2011 18:43
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