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Britney Spears is being sued for $10 Million over a perfume deal. Apparently the scent is selling well because it helps mask the smell coming from her CDs. 
Egypt is set to announce a new working Constitution. To which the U.S. is asking “Where can we get one of those?”
A new website helps college students arrange for casual sex hookups. Don't college kids already have that? It's called Facebook.
A report says that 15% of Americans admit to cheating on their taxes. Probably because the other 85% don't have an income anymore.
I've always wonder who came up with the phrase "sh!ts and giggles", because the two have always been mutually exclusive for me....
How about when you're in line at The Walmart and they herd ya over to express checkout and the people behind you get all pissed off.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
so has a friend ever used your PC and caught your google searches on accident? as In if they where searching "Minnesota" and when they typed "Mi" "midget porn" pops up
If anyone is wondering how to build a meth lab, Google apparently has directions on its homepage today…..
hates people who feel like the "12 items or less" sign at the supermarket doesnt apply to them
Girl says "Guys are like bras. They hook up behind your back.".... The best reply, "Girls are like condoms, they spend more time in your wallet then on your d!ck!"
Live,Laugh, Love if that doesn't work- Raise, Aim and Fire..
I just saw an advertisement for a singles site that read, “Meet sincere singles over 40”. Thank you, but no thank you, as I'm in search of a deceitful woman...again.....
longing for the good old days when "Anarchists" were protesting for something other than more government.
always afraid to poop at a friends house cuz I might clog the toilet...
There's a distinct difference between power walking for fitness and power walking because you have to use the bathroom
I think I may have misunderstood my boss when she told me that she loved seeing me hard at work
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no-one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
whys everyone so excited about opening day? I thought walgreens in town didnt open until tomorrow 