Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If your parents don't have children. Chances are you won't either.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather play the adult only version of "Duct Duct Tape" if you know what I mean. ;0)
←Rate | 03-27-2011 09:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not grumpy. I'm just not a fan of other people today.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 09:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really want a Klondike Bar, but I'm fresh out of ideas......
←Rate | 03-27-2011 08:50 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Despite a great life, I feel all empty inside, Must be time for lunch.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 07:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lonely man put an ad in the paper saying "wife wanted" The next day, he checked he had 40 messages, all of them saying "You can have mine!"
←Rate | 03-27-2011 04:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My buddy told me "My wife is an angel" I told him "You're lucky! Mine is still alive"
←Rate | 03-27-2011 04:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I filed a lawsuit against Nabisco for blatant racism. I opened up a box of premium saltines and every one of them was a cracker.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 04:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worst possible life moment.... Driving down the interstate, a few miles past the "next exit 80 miles" sign, and you realize you have a sudden onset of diahrrea
←Rate | 03-27-2011 04:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a phone call saying "Excuse me, do you know for sure that you've been saved by the Lord?" I said "Why, has he told you something?"
←Rate | 03-27-2011 03:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought my dog was crazy for humping the air... then one day I tried it. It's pretty underrated
←Rate | 03-27-2011 03:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my kids become wild and unruly I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 01:24 Comments (1)  


   messageicon when life gives you dilemmas, make dilemmanade!
←Rate | 03-27-2011 01:20 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I was such an ugly kid... When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up
←Rate | 03-27-2011 01:19 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Women like saying "I'm not short, I'm fun sized", so I tell them the same thing in bed.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 00:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If snitches get stitches.. You can call me Scarface
←Rate | 03-26-2011 23:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you love something and you were dumb enough to let it go then you didn't deserve it in the first place.
←Rate | 03-26-2011 22:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Year 2050 Son: "Dad,how did you meet mom?" Dad: "Aaah my son..... it all started with a friend request on facebook."
←Rate | 03-26-2011 21:40 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother always told me to never quit something I'm good at. So here is to her for making me realise that i'm good at being drunk!
←Rate | 03-26-2011 21:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon WORK is AWESOME!! It's the only way to get constantly screwed 5 days in a row without the fear of pregnancy or disease.. Just saying..
←Rate | 03-26-2011 21:30 Comments (0)  



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