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Sorry, I can't follow you on twitter...I'm a leader! 
MONEY can't buy life, but can give you a lot of fake friends. Beware!
Sorry friends......But from the advice of my lawyer, it's in my best interest not to try out Facebook's new 'Questions' feature tonight : (
Since "nobody's perfect," I'm gonna go ahead and take the initiative...
Girls 'round here have kissed so many frogs, they're starting to look like tadpoles. Attractive?! Probably to a water snake or a dragonfly!
Mother nature is bipolar... I've been trying to get her into therapy but she just threatens me with a hormonal disorder so...
Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs
begining to suspect that my friend's tell me they don't have any single friends for me to meet so that if they in fact become single again they will have dibs.
Money=Problems So Problems=Time Time=money=Girls therefor Girls=problems
What is the most spontaneous thing you plan on doing?
sometimes does the Jedi Wave at automatic doors, just to feel better.
if I ever win the lottery the first thing I'm gonna do is hire a priest, a rabbi and a minister to walk into bars with me
Hollywood are already planning a movie about the life of Elizabeth Taylor. It's provisionally titled 'Eight Weddings and a Funeral'.
Lady Gaga says she takes her fashion inspiration from Princess Diana. It's just a shame it's not from how she looked before the crash.
It's been exactly a year since I quit drinking. And 364 days since I started again.
Have you ever held your money and ever thought "I hope this hasn't been up a stripper's butt"...
I dont hate Mondays. I just cant stand the 24 hours they occupy.
xT: Quotes My Parents Say I Spend To Much Time On Facebook And Should Go Outside . Thank God For Laptops And Wifi.
<~~~may cause dizziness, high blood pressure, exitability, tingling sensation, loss of hearing, blindness, loose bowels, erectile disfunction, nauseau, heart failure and seizures.
Why is it that people think they are invisible in their cars while they are picking their noses?
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