I feel a need to apologize. My wife just got back from Wal Mart and apparently, she bought it all. I'm very sorry for any problems this may cause other shoppers...
I often want to pull up along side some moron talking / texting on their cell phone and ask them if they would drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up their a**, sideways.
I would love to become Facebook friends with a hooker because I bet the status updates would be very interesting if they were honest, like, "Lindsey just made $300 in 15 minutes."
Skippy recalls peanut butter because Bacteria was found in peanut butter distributed in Illinois..... And in other news Skippy announces the world wide release today of it's new peanut butter with "active cultures"
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio...now go clean them and make me a sandwich on your way back...