Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Your so vain you probably think this post is about you 
"I'm gonna name a beer called responsibly, so the other companies advertise for me ... "Drink Responsibly"
This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over.
If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.
This isn't hell. This is where you get sent when you've been bad in hell.
A rather scary statistic, 42% of Americans think the "little magic man in the sky", otherwise known as god, has a direct hand in causing natural disasters.....idiots!
Stabbin' it with my Steely knives, But I just. Can't. Kill. The. Beast.
When I was a kid I thought there was nothing cooler than riding in a limousine, but as I got older I realized you could also do drugs in a limousine...
Monica Lewinsky turned 46. Seems like yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees..
saw a bumber sticker that said "Jesus Saves"...he must know where to find the cheapest gas.
Went fishing today and was fairly successful. Caught 2 pounds of tilapia, using $13 cash for bait.
There was this annoying guy at a movie. So I thought to myself..." what would jesus do " .....So I started the guy on fire.
Friends with benefits = awesome! Uncles with benefits = creepy!
Of course money buys happiness! You ever seen a homeless person skip?
every fight is a food fight.......when your a cannibal.
Beer Nuts are $1.29, but deer nuts are under a buck
my mixes are tighter than your skinny jeans kid.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper
If it's free, it's advice; If you pay for it, it's counseling; If you can use either one, it's a miracle !
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one. 