Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Once a pun a time, I used to be terrific at wordplay.

   Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had.

   99% of relationships involve tolerating how weird the other person is.

   Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to read a medication bottle and see, "May cause extreme sexiness."

   Helpful advice for people: Don't be a douche.

   My theory on Marriage, Why pay for internet when WiFi is free.

   If you're not wearing green right now, shuffle your feet on the carpet and touch the screen to receive your "virtual pinch".

   Drinking green beer makes you no more Irish, than drinking tiger's blood makes you a blubbering, coked-out douchebag….oh….wait….

   I can't tell if its the acid I dropped or the green beer I've been drinking since 12:30 a.m., but there are Leprechauns everywhere!! HAPPY PAT'S DAY LASSIES!!!

   just recieved a letter in the mail from Jerry Springer asking me to be a guest on his show.... This cant be good

   Thx Burger King breakfast for letting me experience Prison Food!

   The difference between St. Patrick's Day and Black History Month, is that on St. Patrick's Day....people want to pretend they are Irish....

   Happy Leprechaun Appreciation Day!

   You don't have to like me. I'm not a facebook status.

   Without Facebook, I probably wouldn't have wished you a happy birthday. ツ

   thinks God invented whiskey so the Irish would never rule the world!

   Here's something that could revolutionize St. Patrick's Day -- green Pepto-Bismol.

   Happy St Patrick's Day, the day when everybody gets together and pretends they're Irish. Except the Irish -- they pretend they're sober.

   kiss me I'm Irish, and slip me some tongue cause I think there's a lil french in there too

   Follow your dreams......except those weird ones!