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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to see a drug commercial that says, "May cause extreme awesomeness."
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03-18-2011 09:00 by
flinnie
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St. Patrick 1 - me 0
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03-18-2011 08:53 by
kingtut
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I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to walk away from, and some I would love to punch in the face
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03-18-2011 08:20
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125 shot of nitrous is like a hot chick with STD's.... You know you wanna hit it but your afraid of the consequences!
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03-18-2011 07:30 by
Lozo
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I ate some green cheese yesterday, thinking it was green for St Patricks day. Turns out it was just really bad cheese! I've been sitting on this toilet for 14 hours.
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03-18-2011 06:43 by
JeremyCakes
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Some times the only way to win is to not suck at the game.
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03-18-2011 05:55
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Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
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03-18-2011 03:55
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Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game.
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03-18-2011 02:50 by
ff1241
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Working at the pizza place today...I came up with a tastier dough, Would you like to try my dill dough?
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03-18-2011 01:56 by
blondeone
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ending the night with green beer in a sippy cup!
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03-18-2011 01:17 by
totalpackage
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i already owns a 3D television. I call it "my window."
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03-18-2011 01:11 by
seddy90
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You know that movie Anaconda? They filmed it in my pants
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03-18-2011 01:10 by
seddy90
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If chains and whips excite rihanna then why did she break up with Chris Brown ?
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03-18-2011 01:04 by
seddy90
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Can't believe I forgot my wife was on her period. Boy is my face red.
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03-18-2011 01:00 by
seddy90
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Are a bag of Skittles considered a serving of fruit? If so, I'm eating healthy today.
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03-18-2011 00:06 by
Booger
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It must suck for Jimmer that he is the leading scorer in the nation, but isn't allowed to score!
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03-17-2011 23:45 by
Chad Kautz
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Freedom is never free. But it will lower gas prices soon !
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03-17-2011 23:24
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It's St. Patty's Day! Does the green stuff that I'm blowing out of my nose count?
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03-17-2011 22:29 by
CSR
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Grab one midget and demand their pot of gold and you get labeled a "public nusance". Anyone could make the same mistake.
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03-17-2011 21:58
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Practice makes perfect......... Does this apply to lying too?
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03-17-2011 21:29
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