Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon People point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
←Rate | 04-10-2011 22:51 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package....
←Rate | 04-10-2011 20:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long....
←Rate | 04-10-2011 20:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 20:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon TOMORROW...One of the greatest labor saving devices of today
←Rate | 04-10-2011 20:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't remember where I put my xanex
←Rate | 04-10-2011 20:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cats are really not all that bad...................It turns out, I've been cooking them wrong this whole time...
←Rate | 04-10-2011 20:01 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I before E, except after C." Disproved by science.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 19:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon lost the key to my imagination, and now I can't start my unicorn
←Rate | 04-10-2011 19:38 by Elbow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight at 11: A channel 3 exclusive - How a dangerous game of peekaboo sent two children to the ICU.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 19:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
←Rate | 04-10-2011 18:49 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you need a car that dose the parallel parking for you then you should NOT be driving to begin with .
←Rate | 04-10-2011 18:47 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self lubricating. It takes any size pistonAnd it changes its own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so tempermental."
←Rate | 04-10-2011 18:11 by Average joe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Conscience is that inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon t pisses you off when your wife gets pregnant,everyone rubs her belly & says "congrats!" but nobody rubs your d*ck & says "Good Job!"
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The Comedy Awards is on tonight, don't know what category it would be in but the Rebecca Black video needs to be nominated for SOMETHING!
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clearly - Tiger Woods is getting laid again......
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:45 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tiger's best 18 holes since Elin found out about the other 18 holes he was playing...
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon April Fools' Day was the worst day ever to have a heart attack
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never say never...Unless someone asks if you're going to see the new Justin Bieber film
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:39 by Destin Comments (0)  



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