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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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❒Taken ❒Single ✔ Dont care anymore
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04-12-2011 23:22 by
BEGO
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I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
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04-12-2011 23:08 by
BEGO
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I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
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04-12-2011 23:06 by
BEGO
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I don't hate you, I never could. I don't regret meeting you, I never will. But I do regret our relationship. It destroyed our friendship!
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04-12-2011 22:56 by
BEGO
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True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
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04-12-2011 22:41
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If you say something really fast it can sound really easy or really hard.
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04-12-2011 22:40
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I just took the garbage out. In 3D
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04-12-2011 22:31 by
BEGO
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So... after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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04-12-2011 22:28
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I solve many of my problems by simply ignoring them
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04-12-2011 22:28 by
BEGO
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After 10 Dos Equis beers, I think I'm the most interesting man in the world
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04-12-2011 22:27 by
BEGO
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I took everything with a grain of salt and now I have hypertension.
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04-12-2011 22:22
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Spring makes every day feel like you're stuck in the office on a Friday afternoon.
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04-12-2011 22:22
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Had Maury Povich been in Star Wars, we would have known who the father was a lot sooner
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04-12-2011 22:21
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I crack open a beer and get on facebook when I have nothing else to do....and also when I have something else to do....
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04-12-2011 20:48
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I run with scissors. It makes me feel dangerous.
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04-12-2011 20:46
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The early worm gets the bird. ┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐
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04-12-2011 20:38 by
Gman
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If the internet is the superhighway... Facebook is that bad accident backing up traffic for miles because everyone can't help staring at it.
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04-12-2011 20:37 by
Gman
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Don't steal. The government hates competition.
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04-12-2011 20:36
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“Oprah's Secret” sounds like a new line of plus-sized lingerie.
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04-12-2011 20:36 by
Gman
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Dont you hate when you lying to somebody and someone else come out of nowhere like "oh yeah, I heard about that"..... lol.... NO you didnt, cause I made it up!!!
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04-12-2011 20:35
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