Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I miss the days when Иiggers knew their place.

   Listen, baby, I can deal with the herpes, the gluten intolerance, and the irritable bowel syndrome. But I will not date someone who listens to music through their phone's speaker.

   my emotional support animal is a chicken. Four piece with a biscuit.

   My neighbor lady has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face..

   But... Crazy people have more fun.

   did not wake up this morning. I came to.

   what would happen if you're scared half to death twice

   As a Social Networking Expert, I have evaluated your social media activity and your status updates. My conclusion: You're all crazy.

   I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak. (another great post by Gary K.

   Do you suppose Ghosts believe in People??

   Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from all women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

   thinks that Facebook is like a college dormitory. No matter the hour, there's always someone up. Also, someone is drunk.

   Not going to happen! I'm the king of lame comedy and I love it!

   You are one big kunt.

   GaryKoenig, please stop with horrible jokes. You're the lamest asshole on social media.

   6 am too early to drink

   TSA is no longer going to use that scanner that shows passengers in the nude. They made an executive decision Today after the View Cast boarded a flight at LAX.

   GaryKoenig is back in full force.

   I saw a bumper sticker that said "May life treat you the way you treat your dog" I hope no one puts me on a leash and makes me poop outside.

   Sometimes, I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked 'wonderful tonight', or if it was the 15th outfit she tried on and he just wanted to get to the party and get a drink. 🤔🎸😂