Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon It's not my birthday, but I'll take a spanking anyway.
←Rate | 04-23-2011 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor has diagnosed me with mild tourettes. Blast.
←Rate | 04-23-2011 12:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend was really as she's just won a makeover. "It's just like that show on Channel 4!" she beamed... "What, Scrapheap Challenge?".
←Rate | 04-23-2011 12:48 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon man, when are 'good girls' gonna start liking good guys? I'm running out of patience here!
←Rate | 04-23-2011 11:42 by Afrique18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to the Easter Bunny: You're not fooling anyone with that fake grass in the basket.
←Rate | 04-23-2011 10:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Parents, How do you expect kids to listen to you when: Tarzan lives half naked. Cinderella comes back at midnight. Pinocchio lies all the time. Aladdin is the king of thieves. Batman drives at 320km/h. Sleeping beauty is lazy. Snow white sleeps with
←Rate | 04-23-2011 09:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sh!t it's raining, f*ck it's lightning, dammit thunder, just cussing up a storm over here..
←Rate | 04-23-2011 09:24 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know why they call it golf? Cause all the other four letter words were taken!!
←Rate | 04-23-2011 09:15 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon hopes there is never another NFL game again until people act grown up and forget money and remember the sacrifice of Pat Tillman. (Research it)
←Rate | 04-23-2011 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only rabbit I want coming to my house is Jessica.
←Rate | 04-23-2011 09:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to walk into target today but I missed
←Rate | 04-23-2011 08:43 by tonez Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give Tiger a break. Obama is screwing the WHOLE country!
←Rate | 04-23-2011 08:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ovens are a lot like sex. Women want them preheated first - Men just shove it in and don't care.
←Rate | 04-23-2011 08:28 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about this weather is the short skirts & low cut tops.............. Even if they do make me look a but gay!
←Rate | 04-23-2011 08:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Came home Friday with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, "Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Obviously confused I asked, "Why? Don't we have any vases?
←Rate | 04-23-2011 08:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders how I can remember lyrics to a song I haven't heard since 1986. But can't, even for a million bucks; remember why I'm just standing in the middle of the kitchen
←Rate | 04-23-2011 07:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you're waiting for him in his T-shirt, it's cute. But when he's waiting for you in your T-shirt, it's time to start worrying.
←Rate | 04-23-2011 06:42 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dog ask a cat, "why do you always make love in secret?" The cat answers, "coz we don't want humans to copy us like they did to you dogs"
←Rate | 04-23-2011 06:41 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon thought I had a touch of Alzheimer's, but I had forgotten what the symptoms were.
←Rate | 04-23-2011 05:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon any1 know how to turn your body clock off?? this is just gettin ridiculous at this stage
←Rate | 04-23-2011 04:51 Comments (0)  



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