Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I would rather have a cure for the common hangover than the common cold.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 14:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody's human - everybody makes mistakes. If you laugh it off and keep going and try to give it your best the next time around, people respect that.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 14:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon updated itunes, I don't think I need any tutorials on listening to music.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 14:17 by Joshin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to name my dog Stains..... so when I call for him to come inside, I can yell "Come Stains!" ......and see how many neighbors give me dirty looks.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 14:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the hell did I get drunk and married to Google? I can barely get a word out now before it tries to finish my sentence...
←Rate | 04-21-2011 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe how much of this stuff at the self checkout is free.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 14:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Me and my bed are in a committed relationship, I think my alarm clock is just jealous of our love.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 14:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Born free. Now, I'm expensive.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 13:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering what name do atheists call out in bed?
←Rate | 04-21-2011 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I call bulls*** on killing someone with kindness... that "kindness" crap won't even maim someone.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 13:36 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was thinking of donating to the sperm bank, they pay good money actually.. I can't believe how much money I've let slip through my fingers.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 13:23 by marq Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone says, "why do bad things happen to good people?" Tell them that only happened once in history --- and He volunteered. Happy Easter everyone.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 13:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know? When you say 'beer can" in a British accent you're also saying "bacon" in a jamaican accent.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 13:10 by April Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fashion police can eat my white jean shorts!
←Rate | 04-21-2011 13:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had sex last night and was told "I loved every second of it" And now confused?!?!?
←Rate | 04-21-2011 12:43 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to the close-minded: different doesn't mean wrong, it's simply right in another way. Appreciate it, rather than punish it with naive isolation
←Rate | 04-21-2011 12:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man is it cold outside...just want to give a shout out to whoever invented the padded bra...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
←Rate | 04-21-2011 12:15 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Save water – take a bath with your neighbor's wife.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 11:38 by ItzSergio Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry I ran over your dog but in my defense I was texting! You're being awfully judgemental for someone who can't even see.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 11:38 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Within 7 seconds of meeting a girl, I decide whether or not I will sleep with her. Convincing her the rest of the night is the tricky part.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 11:32 Comments (0)  



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