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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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you correct my grammar, you better believe I will watch you like a hawk until I repay the favor
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04-04-2011 23:40 by
Destiny
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An Officer came to me and asked "Where were you between 4 and 6?" I responded "Kindergarten duhh."
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04-04-2011 23:39 by
Destiny
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Facebook should change it from 'Friends' to 'People I've made eye contact with
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04-04-2011 23:38 by
Destiny
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Enrique Iglesias is far too pretty to be swearing in his songs. Its like being flipped off by a unicorn.
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04-04-2011 23:37 by
Destiny
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Dilemma: do I the wash dishes, or attempt to eat cornflakes from a cup with a knife?
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04-04-2011 23:36 by
Destiny
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you better get a condom for your heart cause i'm about to f*ck your feelings...
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04-04-2011 23:34 by
Destiny
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NCAA Championship: are you kidding me?. More like the best 'slapstick' comedy ever!
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04-04-2011 23:30 by
Robert
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Made a list of all the things I still want to do while I'm alive. I put "listen to a Justin Bieber cd" straight after "Suicide". Cant wait...
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04-04-2011 23:30 by
Shaun
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The world is gonna throw us a million reasons why this won't work out between us, but I'm armed with the one reason why it will.
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04-04-2011 23:03 by
Marshall the Great
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You know that chemical that gets released in our bodies after sex that makes us think we like someone, hey science can you get rid of that?
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04-04-2011 23:02 by
Marshall the Great
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Today I caught myself smiling... I was thinking of you... Don't flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
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04-04-2011 23:01 by
Marshall the Great
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I couldn't stand to see you hurt. I would have to sit down, then I could really enjoy the show.
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04-04-2011 23:00 by
Marshall the Great
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It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
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04-04-2011 22:58 by
Marshall the Great
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I just ate the chocolate off of 6 peanut butter eggs and now I have a pile of peanut butter... Yeah boyee!!!!!!!!
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04-04-2011 22:49 by
jgmitts
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There no need to miss someone from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
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04-04-2011 22:27 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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0
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The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
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04-04-2011 22:11
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1 Universe, 8 Planets, 7 Continents, 809 Islands, 204 Countries, and I had the privilege of meeting you.
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04-04-2011 21:51 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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You give me the kind of feeling people write novels about.
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04-04-2011 21:48 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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Walk into kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote you lost 30 minutes ago
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04-04-2011 21:47 by
ptv
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Dance like no one's going to put it on YouTube.
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04-04-2011 20:50 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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