Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon A woman knocked on my door earlier asking if I would like to make a contribution towards domestic violence.So I punched her in the face.
←Rate | 05-01-2011 12:12 by Turk Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll date anyone who isn't an idiot, hints the reason I'm still single.
←Rate | 05-01-2011 09:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FAST 6 , "The race to the Senior Discount Breakfast at Dennys". The next movie in the outlived Fast & The Furious Saga .
←Rate | 05-01-2011 08:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl: Mom, I want some fresh air.. Can I go for a walk? Mom: Yes, but tell your “fresh air” to drop you home by 9 pm..!!
←Rate | 05-01-2011 07:45 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pippa middleton's ass is like a JK Rowling book..... you know harry's going to be in it
←Rate | 05-01-2011 04:46 by jason bramley Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a ton of leftover horse. I guess I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was.
←Rate | 05-01-2011 04:12 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have beaten so many Japanese people tonight on Mario Kart Wii that they are going to start referring to me as Godzilla
←Rate | 05-01-2011 00:56 by Brent Comments (0)  


   messageicon Extreme Couponing O:
←Rate | 04-30-2011 22:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - You know "f-cking" is one of those f-cking words that you can f-cking put anyf-ckingwhere in a sentence and it still makes f-cking sense!
←Rate | 04-30-2011 21:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - Oh, you don't like me? Go stand in line with the rest of the haters waiting for me to give a f-ck!
←Rate | 04-30-2011 21:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - If you got any b-tchier, you could have puppies. Woof!
←Rate | 04-30-2011 21:55 by Carol Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a nun on a wheelchair today and I could think of is.... Virgin mobile
←Rate | 04-30-2011 21:34 by Usucknoob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can we stop calling Obama the first black president, he makes Bryant gumball look like flavor flav, my nipples are darker than this guy.
←Rate | 04-30-2011 21:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I don't care what political party you lean towards, what religious denomination you claim or what side of the tracks you live on, I love you anyways. Whether you like it or not."
←Rate | 04-30-2011 20:39 by Hoytville Comments (0)  


   messageicon Earlier today I passed a street sign that said "Dip". I have an idea, instead of putting in the time and money into the "Dip" sign, how about filling in the dip?? Just a thought. If the bridge went out, would they just put up a sign that said, "River"?
←Rate | 04-30-2011 20:38 by Hoytville Comments (1)  


   messageicon Three questions that dumbfound people: 1) How did Moses part the Red Sea? 2) How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 3) How is Jacob Lusk still on American Idol?
←Rate | 04-30-2011 20:37 by Hoytville Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look at it this way; if the world's meant to end in 2012, at least you won't have to pay $10/gal for gas
←Rate | 04-30-2011 20:27 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoops! Some vodka fell in my glass... Better clean that up...
←Rate | 04-30-2011 20:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever wonder why wearing no underwear is called "going commando"? It seems to me it would not be too useful in a combat situation.
←Rate | 04-30-2011 19:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon for a second I thought an ogre and a donkey had crashed another royal wedding, but then I realized it was Camilla and Charles.
←Rate | 04-30-2011 18:31 Comments (0)  



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