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You have to speak to be heard, but sometimes you have to be silent to be appreciated.
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04-12-2011 18:01 by
Marshall the Great
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Friends are like shoes. We look for good-looking ones, but at the end, we choose the ones we feel comfortable with.
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04-12-2011 18:00 by
Marshall the Great
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I offend people in a nice way
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04-12-2011 17:45
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why do people say things regarding you, without mentioning you, and pretending it has nothing to do with you
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04-12-2011 17:07
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My Korean mate was going to cook his wife a surprise birthday dinner........But someone let the cat out of the bag
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04-12-2011 16:51 by
Arsenalaction
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The test of Love is not how long it survives, but how it renews itself with each passing day.
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04-12-2011 16:34 by
hovo
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Men are a lot like shopping carts, when you finally find one without a screwed up wheel, it already has a wife pushing it around.
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04-12-2011 16:30 by
hovo
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Guy in office: "My computer just went down on me!" Lady in next office: "Which button did you press to get that???"
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04-12-2011 16:15 by
Master Weeg
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I wonder if my life would be better if I wrapped it in bacon?
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04-12-2011 16:11 by
Paul
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"Happy Birthday! Hope your balls finally dropped! :)" - Things not to post on your ex-boyfriend's facebook page. Apparently.
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04-12-2011 15:58 by
manduh
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Does anyone know where you sign up to get a tee time at the Masters or is this some kind of invite only bulls***?
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04-12-2011 15:57 by
manduh
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She told me she'd sleep with me when pigs fly, so you can imagine how happy I am to see that police helicopter over my house right now.
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04-12-2011 12:44 by
Gman
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A recent study concluded that staring at women's boobs for 10 minutes a day increases life expectancy. In other news, I turn 137 this month.
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04-12-2011 12:41 by
Gman
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If her ass had a red "you are here" dot on it, I'd never get lost in thought.
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04-12-2011 12:35 by
Gman
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I'm designing a solar-powered automatic flushing toilet for people like my ex who think the sun shines out of their ass.
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04-12-2011 12:32 by
Gman
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Oops. My "check liver" light just came on.
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04-12-2011 12:30 by
Gman
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I know a lot of women with A.D.D. (Attention Demanding Disorder)
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04-12-2011 12:22 by
G
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I thought about joining the neighborhood watch... But my neighbors just aren't that attractive.
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04-12-2011 12:20 by
Gman
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For some reason when I look at you, the alt+f4 button appear... Somehow I wonder
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04-12-2011 11:41 by
Aidil vi malaysia
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My boss is always saying, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" Tomorrow, I am going to work Naked
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04-12-2011 11:18
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