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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The word "Excellent" has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his Grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I would call him an "excellent" shot, but I don't think that's what Bill and Ted meant by "Be Excellent to each other!"
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04-13-2011 16:14 by
Keith Albert
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If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
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04-13-2011 15:46 by
kman
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Just did 50 push ups. Really only 5 but 50 looks better on facebook
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04-13-2011 15:04 by
QPid901
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These voices in my head are really annoying , but sometimes they come up with a good idea .
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04-13-2011 15:01
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I read someone gets divorced every 10 to 13 seconds. I'm not one to judge people, but that guy gets married wayyy too much.
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04-13-2011 14:13 by
Gman
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"Be excellent to each other." ~ Bill S. Preston Esquire & Ted "Theodore" Logan
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04-13-2011 13:46 by
J. BIAZA
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"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" -- Abraham Lincoln
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04-13-2011 13:19 by
@spunky_design
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❒Flossin' ❒Ballin' ✔Bill Gaten'
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04-13-2011 13:18 by
SlowMotionNinja
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Every thing I know about politics, I learned from School House Rocks.
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04-13-2011 13:18 by
Goodeolboy
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at the current rate of the economy hookers are gonna be giving away toasters soon.
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04-13-2011 12:53 by
kman
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Feels sorry for K-9 drug sniffin dogs on their day off.....what do you mean we're not going to work....you don't understand mannnnn.
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04-13-2011 12:52 by
kman
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2 beers $12, 3 margaritas $15, 4 jello shots $20 dollars, taking home the girl who drank all the above... priceless
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04-13-2011 11:46 by
TheChosenOne
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My blood type is Dutch Bros.
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04-13-2011 11:29 by
CJ
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I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!
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04-13-2011 11:29 by
CJ
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I bought a race horse and named it "my face" just so I can hear women shouting "come on my face!"
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04-13-2011 11:20 by
Gil
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I Just Drove Like Six Miles With My Left Turn Signal On...Yep I'm Officially Old! ☹
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04-13-2011 10:52 by
Seddy90
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When trying on pants, even the most vile curse words very rarely make the pants change their mind and fit comfortably.
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04-13-2011 09:31 by
manduh
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A cop with a drug sniffing dog said to me "This dog tells me you're on drugs." I said "I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs
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04-13-2011 09:12 by
SEAN
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watching a cooking show full of dumb hosts and arrogant chefs. Yes, I think they should all try the smelly sauerkraut water - and choke to death.
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04-13-2011 09:11 by
mtravica
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Yeah, yeah. It's Hump Day, but get off my leg, please. I don't like you that much.
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04-13-2011 08:40 by
Linda
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