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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Am I the only once who noticed Michael Jordan has a hitler mustache in the Haines commercials?
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04-14-2011 02:31
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Why do you LIKE your own status on facebook ? that's like texting yourself a question and replying back to yourself with your own answer
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04-14-2011 01:40
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Does anyone remember when gas was $1.09? Yeah neither do I.
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04-14-2011 01:40
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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04-13-2011 23:50
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How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
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04-13-2011 23:02 by
BEGO
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Sometimes I think that life is one big test...and I'm in the wrong classroom.
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04-13-2011 22:53 by
J. BIAZA
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When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.
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04-13-2011 22:51 by
BEGO
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When the toilet lids closed, it's turned into a seat.
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04-13-2011 22:46
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: Forecast for the weekend - On Friday, mild alcoholism with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement close to midnight on Saturday. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
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04-13-2011 22:40 by
Elbow
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*sends text message* *gets a reply 45min later* "Oh so it's like that? Ok, then I'm gonna take twice as long to text back!"
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04-13-2011 22:27 by
BEGO
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Lying in bed, wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee.
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04-13-2011 22:18 by
BEGO
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God puts people in my life for a reason... & removes them from my life for a better reason.
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04-13-2011 22:06 by
BEGO
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Unfortunately, its hard to get real, useful advice nowadays. But on the other hand, you have different fingers...
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04-13-2011 21:57 by
RD
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burned lots of calories tonday, otherwise known as "dinner". :)
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04-13-2011 21:57 by
mznicky
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Facebook should change the "Friends" section to "Friends & People I've Only Made Eye Contact With".
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04-13-2011 21:56 by
BEGO
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Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke
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04-13-2011 21:54 by
BEGO
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I love you like a fat kid loves cake, but lately that fat kid has been on a diet.
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04-13-2011 21:50 by
BEGO
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Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can't do both!”
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04-13-2011 21:38 by
BEGO
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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
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04-13-2011 21:37 by
BEGO
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There's always that one person who makes you wanna raise your middle finger every time they speak to you
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04-13-2011 21:35 by
BEGO
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