Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Free speech is guaranteed under the U.S constitution. Intelligence is not. Just watch the news.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 15:46 by TVD Comments (0)  


   messageicon The iPhone checks my Facebook, checks my email, organizes my music, calls my Mom, and now it tracks my whereabouts? It's like having a jealous psycho girlfriend in your pocket.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 15:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad Facebook will never tell you, "Not tonight I have a headache!"
←Rate | 04-22-2011 15:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Enjoy the little things in life, because one day, you'll look back and realize that they were actually big things.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 15:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the 'Jolly Old England' poster - use your spell checker, dimwit.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 14:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did anybody ever end up getting Jay-Z a what what? I think he also asked for a woop woop
←Rate | 04-22-2011 13:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody understand what anyone else is going through. We could be standing beside someone who is broken and never know
←Rate | 04-22-2011 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just on Facebook to see what's going on, so I won't be surprised by CNN's Breaking News.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 13:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you know how many black guys wish they were Steve Nash?!?!?
←Rate | 04-22-2011 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember even though it is Earth Day, you should not tie yourself to any trees a bear might come by and eat you, one of the many things I have learned from 1,000 Ways to Die
←Rate | 04-22-2011 12:43 by ginger curtis Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I saw a butterfly with no wings today, I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... It drowned...
←Rate | 04-22-2011 12:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Security stopped me at the airport last night. He said, "Do you mind if we search your luggage?" I said, "It depends, what for?" He said, "Drugs." I said, "In that case, no."
←Rate | 04-22-2011 12:26 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cremation, the last thing to light your fire.....
←Rate | 04-22-2011 12:12 by Quinn Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't make me go all CAPS LOCKS on you...
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:43 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can you keep earth clean when it's made of dirt and water?
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's the little things in life that count. Like my salary.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are like coolers. Load them up with beer and you can take them anywhere.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 20 year high school reunion is in a few months. I need help with making up some amazing crap that I've done.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come whenever I tell someone I play guitar, they challenge me to Guitar Hero? I have never challenged a veteran to Call of Duty.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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