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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Mess with me, I'll fight back. Mess with my friends, I'll hurt you. Mess with ones I love, and they'll never be able to identify you."
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05-11-2011 23:19 by
Dylan Bosch
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...remember when we were YOUNG and couldn't wait to grow up? ...WOW, what the hell were we thinking!?!?"
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05-11-2011 23:14 by
Dylan Bosch
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Just remember, everything happens for a reason. So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason!"
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05-11-2011 23:10 by
Dylan Bosch
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You really don't know a person until you realize they don't know how to spelle
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05-11-2011 23:07 by
BRian
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Osama's diary found? "Dear Diary, Had an OK day hiding here in the compound. Watched some CNN. 2 of my 3 wives are on the rag, so that's a drag. Well, that's all for now. Bye, Osama "
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05-11-2011 23:03 by
Mike M
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Dear Google, You bring up millions of results, if I don't see what I want on the first page, I asume it's not there Sincerely EVERYONE.
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05-11-2011 23:02 by
@iTechnoBoy
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If Facebook really did have a dislike button.. some serious drama would go down
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05-11-2011 22:46 by
@iTechnoBoy
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Dear hookers & strippers, What is "bring your kid to work" day like? Sincerely, curious
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05-11-2011 22:45 by
iTechnoBoy
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If I were a Jedi, I'd have long frizzy hair, red leather pants, and lots of attitude.. and I'd go by Obi-wan Bon Jovi.
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05-11-2011 22:22 by
jdpower
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Don't call me lazy unless you've walked a mile in my slippers
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05-11-2011 22:20 by
jdpower
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I had my cell phone ring changed to a loud sneeze. That way, not only do I not offend those around me, they actually bless me whenever anyone calls.
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05-11-2011 22:17 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm proud of my decision to never attempt to run any marathon.
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05-11-2011 22:07 by
Marshall the Great
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I wish that I could record my dreams and watch them later.
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05-11-2011 22:04 by
Marshall the Great
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I sure hopes they're wrong about the world ending in 2012. I'd hate to think I wasted the last couple years of my life on Facebook with you guys ;)
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05-11-2011 22:03 by
Marshall the Great
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You should see how fast I can go from hardcore gangsta to Irish folk singer when my ipod jumps from Jay-Z to The Swell Season.
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05-11-2011 21:59
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I'm perfectly sane. Everyone else however is insane and trying to steal my magic bag.
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05-11-2011 21:45
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In this bright future you can't forget your past. - Bob Marley, RIP
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05-11-2011 21:30 by
J
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I would be unstoppable if I could just get started.
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05-11-2011 21:14 by
CleverKID
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im no gynecologist...but I'll take a look ;)
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05-11-2011 21:12
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Are you guys really my friends or are you just my facebook friends?"
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05-11-2011 20:41 by
Dylan Bosch
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