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It's hard to be naked and baked without wondering why the two words don't rhyme." 
Just because I flirt with you doesnt mean I like you.
Ironically, I gain my very own instant gratification by denying yours.
Dear warm weather, thank you for having the wonderful ability to remove clothing from these gorgeous girls on campus
I love watching two girls meet for the first time. Its easily the fakest thing I have ever seen.
Twitter: What's happening? Facebook: What are you thinking? MySpace: Where is everybody?!
Don't tell me your sorry when your not, you only say sorry when you get caught.
Dear Nike, I did it. Now what happens? Sincerely, Pregnant teen.
People who say you "tweet too much" need to take their asses back to MYSPACE cause you won't be seeing anything "too much".
I like to consider myself like King Soopers...I too, take pride in the quality of my meat.
Somewhere, right now.. One of my Facebook friends is already drunk!"
Everytime I drink I break my "No" button. Yes, I want another drink. Yes, you can take me home. Yes, I'm sure I can drive. Yes, I will dance on the bar."
BED AND BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
You know you drank too much last night when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator."
I gotta get outta this funk, I've somehow lost my spunk. I'm not cheery, or happy, and I hate feeling crappy. Perhaps I should just get drunk!"
The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they've granted President Obama full citizenship
why do some people say Math instead of Maths? ,, its Mathematics not Mathematic..
decided that I am not an alcoholic...I am an extreme social partier with a drinking habit...I say habit because a problem is something you want to fix!"
A new medical study reports that men who eat ten pizzas a week are less likely to develop prostate problems at age 50. That`s because they are usually dead by age 40
What do we call the science of classifying living things?... Racism
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