Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon 3 man code violations to report this week..1) seen a guy drinkin a can a diet pepsi with a straw 2) heard that two guys rode to work together on the same motorcycle 3) seen a guy driving a mini van with a doo rag on
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:36 by Downey Comments (1)  


   messageicon Cicadas, Crafty LiL critters... I swear they play dead then when you turn away they fix those beady red eyes on your back and can fly just enough to land in your hair! Oh, and they have a death grip, 150 mph blower and they laugh...laugh I tell you!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:36 by Lonagan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ask me about our "blowj*bs for drinks program"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:29 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a proctologist...but I know an A**HOLE when I see one
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:16 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hanker for a hunka, a slab or slice or chunka, I hanker for a hunka cheese. When your get up and go has got up and went......
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say good things come to those who wait, so it looks like ima be bout an hour late ;)
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:43 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when I was younger "Friday the 13th" used to make me think about Jason movies. Now all I can think about is "Do the bars have any specials today?"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:42 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would like to rename "obese" to "Dyslexic Anorexia"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:30 by Mike D Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bleah and Latex Gloves: $10.. Plastic wrap, trash bags and duct tape: $20...Chainsaw: $200 The horrified look on the cashiers face: PRICELESS!"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:30 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon needs a facebook button that says 'stfu already'
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:30 by jay Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some 12 year old called my house at 2:45 this morning to ask if I ordered Indian food. I said, "Are you serious? I ordered that 8 hours ago!" He stuttered, apologized, and hung up! Prank Call Reversal!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:25 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hockey mask... Check... Machete... Check... Horny campers, that's easy!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:02 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was listening to you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question...
←Rate | 05-13-2011 10:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a blind date tonight.... Hoping she likes the smell of chloroform.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If sex is the food of love then masturbation must be the snacks between meals.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 09:59 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man this haterade tastes nasty! How can so many people drink this?!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 07:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon For me to go insane would be such a slight change that I don't think anybody would notice...
←Rate | 05-13-2011 07:49 by TC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cha cha cha cha ......... kah kah kah kah kah ............... cha cha cha cha cha ............... kah kah kah kah kah! Mrs. Voorhees the original psycho mom!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 07:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big shout out to Jason Voorhees! Party at Camp Crystal Lake tonight with a lot of love making....Be there or be square!!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 06:54 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rebecca Black - "its friiday, friiday" *Jason Voorhees walks in stabs her in the face and goes home* yeah, Friday the 13th.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 06:50 by Bill Comments (0)  



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