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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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the dance floor is a priviledge not a right
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05-18-2011 22:39 by
jmigas
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I'm putting together a crew for the Rapture, Just booked 4 Penske trucks for Sunday. I'm still in need of 2 drivers and 8 laborers. Meet me at the Wal-Mart parking lot at 6:00 AM Saturday, a BBQ will follow
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05-18-2011 22:29 by
jdpower
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: Have you ever been the only sober person in a roomful of drunk people? ... Me neither.
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05-18-2011 22:16 by
Elbow
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Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.
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05-18-2011 22:11 by
BEGO
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Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night."
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05-18-2011 22:02 by
BEGO
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hey Google, why don't you sit next to me during my exam?
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05-18-2011 22:01 by
BEGO
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If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.
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05-18-2011 21:54 by
matt
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If the NBA wants to increase viewers, they should start playing FOOTBALL!!!
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05-18-2011 21:30 by
greg2missy
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While Facebooking, cars in front of you may be closer than expected.
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05-18-2011 21:27 by
BEGO
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Always believe a woman when she says: “You don't want to know!”
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05-18-2011 21:26 by
BEGO
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They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
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05-18-2011 21:25 by
BEGO
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Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
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05-18-2011 21:23 by
BEGO
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When everyone is out to get you, paranoia is just good thinking.
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05-18-2011 21:12
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just watched a commercial asking if I suffer from schizophrenia. I think i'm okay, but will run it past the other voices...
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05-18-2011 20:51 by
joann
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They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life.
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05-18-2011 20:40 by
jdpower
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Wow, Paul McCartney got married again?! Really seems like this relationship has legs.
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05-18-2011 20:37 by
jdpower
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"Thor" is the #1 movie -- proving there's nothing Americans love watching more than an immigrant who's good with a hammer.
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05-18-2011 20:35 by
jdpower
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I thought about being atheist...then I realized they dont have any holidays
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05-18-2011 20:31 by
BigBunny
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the akward moment when you meet someone of the Internet N they look nothing like their pics
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05-18-2011 20:15 by
Serina
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You guys, hear, about these, rogue commas, going around?
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05-18-2011 20:10 by
jdpower
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