Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon At first I was excited that the Bulls game got pushed back, but when I found out Oprah's s\Secrets was not a new line of plus size lingerie I have to admit I was disappointed
←Rate | 05-18-2011 17:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships are like fat people most of them dont work out
←Rate | 05-18-2011 16:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time I go to the opera... I'm taking my own fat lady in case I need to leave early.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 16:44 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking this whole rapture thing is going to create jobs.... And both democrats and republicans are going to try and take credit.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 16:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're a man and shave your legs I hope you're ok with being called a pre-op transsexual. P.S. I don't care if you enjoy swimming
←Rate | 05-18-2011 16:14 by @tommyjohnagin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rapture Tip: Bring a trash bag to collect left behind clothes . You'll only have a couple hours before the best stuff is picked over.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 16:09 by Sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking about handcuffing himself to Billy Graham for Saturday's rapture...
←Rate | 05-18-2011 15:44 by @gnarleycharley Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned one thing from Facebook... it's how to get a ton of work done in an hour after wasting 80% of my day Facebooking.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 15:28 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, at least we'll get to see the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie before the Rapture. Woulda been a shame to miss that one.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 15:22 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope that James Earl Jones will be narrating the rapture.....
←Rate | 05-18-2011 15:07 by Sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know when you watch children to much when you think news channel and punch in cartoon channel.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 15:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Irish terrorists planted a pipe bomb in the luggage compartment of a bus. Thank heavens there was a last minute decision for her to travel around Ireland by limo.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady Gaga... "Being asked to be godmother of Elton Johns son brought a lump to my throat." No Gaga that's called an adams apple, mate.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory. Why didn't I think of that?
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know the world is messed up when the worlds best rapper is white, the best golfer is black, the tallest man in the NBA is asian and the girl with the highest voice is Justin Biber.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:29 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I press Like or Dislike exclusively to make it an even number
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:08 by Pipo Comments (0)  


   messageicon First-year gynecologists have to take a special med school class about not high-fiving other first-year gynecologists.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like all great artists, Tony Danza never actually came out and said who the boss was. They left it to the viewer to decide.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the rabbit was named "Rabbit", the piglet was named "Piglet", and the owl was named "Owl", why wasn't Christopher Robin named "Dude"?
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:04 Comments (0)  



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