Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Peace out, Osama... tell the Devil I said, "Hey" when you get back to where you're from.

   Can I fill my gas tank with Bin Laden's blood?

   Satan has a new room mate!!! Bin Laden is dead!

   Stephen Hawking is British? Weird... I never noticed an accent.

   Am online on facebook only in morning, afternoon, evening and night.. otherwise am busy in study.

   [ ] single [ ] taken [x] dating imaginary person, that's perfect for me

   Should I still call a DR if I have a have an erection for more then 4 hrs but I have not taken anything???

   I've started dating Little Red Riding Hood's gran. She's an animal in bed.    

   Proof that a level weirder than weirdness exists

   Just call me angel of the morning angel, just touch my cheek before you leave me

   I tried the "Hokey Pokey" put my left foot in; took my left foot out... Mofo still won't shut up. Ain't that what it's all about?

   If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my a$$!!

   Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music from the internet.

   My therapist says I have an obsession with revenge. We'll see about that..

   I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

   I dont watch porn on purpose...Its alwayz an accident cuz those movie titles just be trickin me all the time..."The Fantastic Foursome"..."Miracle on 69th Street"..."Glad-he-ate-her"..."Womb Raider" and my personal fav "Riding Miss Daisy"

   The only time I've ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.

   I find my kitchen sink stays much cleaner by washing my dishes in the toilet. When did you say you wanted to come over for dinner?

   Soo busy today but I FINALLY got a chance to sit down for a minute..... too bad i'm still at work and the place I'm sitting is on the toilet :/

   Fake: it's the latest trend, and everyone seems to be in style.