Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 16:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying. :)
←Rate | 05-19-2011 16:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I'm skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 16:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women can be funny sometimes... like when they say stuff like "Let's just be friends" or "Let me go and I won't tell the cops"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 16:03 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon payin for those jalapenos! My ass is on fire!!
←Rate | 05-19-2011 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon that awkward moment when she catches you trying to take a pic of her, and you have to pretend to be texting someone...
←Rate | 05-19-2011 15:39 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon ya "playa" skillz is broke, just like ya wallet!!
←Rate | 05-19-2011 15:36 by jennybo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just watched an erectile dysfunction commercial for ten minutes before I realized it was Entourage.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 15:26 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child. I saw that movie.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Staring longingly at the door works for my dog, but I tried it at work and no one let me out. :(
←Rate | 05-19-2011 15:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Centers for Disease Control and Prevention posted a blog on their website on May 16 , 2011; concerning Zombie Apocalypse preparedness.... ummmmm is there something the Government not telling us ???
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Gain, You need to come up with a laundry soap that will wash the disappointment out of my sheets after a regretful one night stand.. Work on that. Sincerly, Every Guy in America
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:44 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see that that they have released a "new" tape from Osama bin Laden. Great, it's going to be just like Tupac and Biggie, more recordings released after they were dead than when they were alive.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1:00 in the afternoon and no one is on xbox live? What do people have to do this early in the morning that's sooo important you can't play call of duty?
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:19 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A vampire goes into a bar and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drank blood?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm making tea".
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:12 by Weeble Comments (0)  


   messageicon The so called 'rapture' doesn't apply to me, mainly because I have more than half a brain and think the bible is the best story ever written, if only J K Rowling was about at least it would have had wizards in it!
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:09 by bored Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beyonces new song is so horrible i'd rather hear Betty White & John McCain make sex noises.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 13:56 by @Qpid901 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think instead of the "Poke" button on Facebook there should be "Punch in the Face" button.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 13:56 by ginger curtis Comments (0)  


   messageicon WARNING: If you can read this, then you are too close to procrastinating.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 13:52 Comments (0)  



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