Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Just brought a bottled drink and it had written on the label 'Still Water'. Good, because if it had changed to cider, I probably wouldn't have drunk it.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 08:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The well known phrase, 'I' before 'E' except after 'C' usually applies, except in"Their" and "Alzheimer's"...What happened, did they forget?
←Rate | 05-20-2011 08:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard a strange fact today. Over 1 million dogs in the United States are named the primary benefactor of their owner's will. That's an awful name for a dog!
←Rate | 05-20-2011 08:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone else have a feeling that Pakistan knows where the Hamburglar is?
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:55 by me40299 Comments (0)  


   messageicon would rather go down a slide of razor blades into a pool of lemon juice than go back to work today.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:55 by me40299 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Save money on a bigger TV by simply moving the couch closer to your existing one.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Write the alphabet around the edge of your ironing board to encourage ghosts to do the work for you.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to suffer with terrible flashbacks. Luckily, they're a thing of the past.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you really want a great, fulfilling life you have to work very hard for ..... hold on a sec, they're about to draw the lottery numbers
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our housing estate has a small, resident ghost that helps out during hard times. It's nice to have a little community spirit.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was speaking to a guy who reckons he is able to throw a stick, for two miles and the dog retrieves it. Sounds a bit far fetched.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got told by my Psychiatrist this morning that I'm both indecisive and a Kleptomaniac. I don't know how to take that.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone knows at what time the End of the world will be on Saturday? I feel like I owe it to myself to have one nice meal before it starts
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to help my Uncle Mario contact his dead brother, I tried everything but even the Luigi board didn't work.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.", Ernest Hemingway
←Rate | 05-20-2011 07:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 06:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sharks aren't the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 06:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went to the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin. 3 hours later saw the same 4 men carrying the same coffin. Thought to myself; they've lost the plot!
←Rate | 05-20-2011 06:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey if tomorrow is the rapture could one of you atheists stop by and feed my dog? Feel free to help yourself to my prescription pills and booze
←Rate | 05-20-2011 06:53 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody else is reading it?
←Rate | 05-20-2011 06:48 Comments (0)  



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