Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
4856
4857
4858
4859
4860
4861
4862
4863
5593
Next»
Page: 4860 of 5593
Nothing screams "I don't care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
34
6
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:56
Comments (
0
)
I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house. :)
48
10
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:55 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
I take my garbage & recycling to the curb 2 days before pickup just to see if the neighbors are actually paying attention to anything else sinister I may be up to and answer, “No; pickup is tomorrow, I'm quite sure of it.”
7
7
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:49
Comments (
0
)
OMG! Only 151 more shopping days until New Rapture, October 21st!
19
12
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:43
Comments (
0
)
Drunk sex is ok, but drunk hugs are frantastic
19
13
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:14 by
Doc Noland
Comments (
0
)
likes calling Ketchup, "meatloaf hot fudge".
19
25
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:13 by
Doc Noland
Comments (
0
)
*girl look's at her moms drivers license* Girl: Mom, I know why dad left you! mom: Oh yeah, why? Girl: Because you got an F in sex.
65
35
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:13 by
Mudda
Comments (
0
)
could go to prison for the things he has typed into his notes app on his Droid
3
9
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:11 by
Doc Noland
Comments (
0
)
Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? - I do, as long as you get me drunk or take me back to my childhood.
28
6
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:09 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
If a super villain attacks my house whose only weakness is leftover soy sauce packets from the take-out place, he is so f'ked.
36
9
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:07 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
I wish I had a job where I could frequently say, "If my calculations are correct..."
56
10
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:06 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Today I seen a hitchiker giving me a thumbs up.....I guess he like my Facebook status??
103
18
←Rate |
05-24-2011 16:00 by
RUDEDOG
Comments (
0
)
anyone else noticed that mirrors look really sexy?
39
17
←Rate |
05-24-2011 15:22 by
Teresa
Comments (
0
)
I wish I could find a drug dealer that could get me about 200 mg of Phuckitol.......
46
13
←Rate |
05-24-2011 14:35 by
scottyp
Comments (
1
)
If I were a gynecologist I would name my practice "All Up In Yo Business."
71
14
←Rate |
05-24-2011 14:01 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
When someone says “let's go get a cold one,” I always drive to the zoo because I know that's code for “steal a penguin.”
37
14
←Rate |
05-24-2011 13:57 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Injunction - the new fragrance for women by Imogen Thomas. Indiscretion - the new fragrance for men by Ryan Giggs.
14
9
←Rate |
05-24-2011 13:24 by
miz
Comments (
0
)
What do you call a monkey thats always exploding? A ba-boom.
35
23
←Rate |
05-24-2011 13:14 by
miz
Comments (
0
)
Netanyahu's wife needs to give Michelle Obama a tee shirt that reads, "Don't you wish your husband could be a man like mine?"
59
87
←Rate |
05-24-2011 13:04 by
Bill
Comments (
0
)
wonders who says "open wide" the most, Dentists or Gynaecologists...
46
11
←Rate |
05-24-2011 12:51 by
miz
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
4856
4857
4858
4859
4860
4861
4862
4863
5593
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com