Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? - I do, as long as you get me drunk or take me back to my childhood.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 16:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a super villain attacks my house whose only weakness is leftover soy sauce packets from the take-out place, he is so f'ked.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 16:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I had a job where I could frequently say, "If my calculations are correct..."
←Rate | 05-24-2011 16:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I seen a hitchiker giving me a thumbs up.....I guess he like my Facebook status??
←Rate | 05-24-2011 16:00 by RUDEDOG Comments (0)  


   messageicon anyone else noticed that mirrors look really sexy?
←Rate | 05-24-2011 15:22 by Teresa Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could find a drug dealer that could get me about 200 mg of Phuckitol.......
←Rate | 05-24-2011 14:35 by scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon If I were a gynecologist I would name my practice "All Up In Yo Business."
←Rate | 05-24-2011 14:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone says “let's go get a cold one,” I always drive to the zoo because I know that's code for “steal a penguin.”
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Injunction - the new fragrance for women by Imogen Thomas. Indiscretion - the new fragrance for men by Ryan Giggs.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:24 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a monkey thats always exploding? A ba-boom.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:14 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Netanyahu's wife needs to give Michelle Obama a tee shirt that reads, "Don't you wish your husband could be a man like mine?"
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:04 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders who says "open wide" the most, Dentists or Gynaecologists...
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:51 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon rael, I will trade my Obama for your Netanyahu and I will even throw in Joe Biden if you want him........
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:42 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink...I already have one
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:33 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chris Brown: If you had only used Whips & Chains, instead of Sticks & Stones, you may have avoided jail time...
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:24 by Corinne1957 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking I could definitely meet my weight loss goal if I had to pedal to use the computer
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I smell bacon.....I smell pork! Run little piggies cuz I got a fork!
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember long ago I was going to make a big splash in this world...Turns out it was only a fart in the tub of life.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another fun day in Oz, toto
←Rate | 05-24-2011 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just heard that Harold Camping is the new front running Republican presidential candidate
←Rate | 05-24-2011 11:16 by PODas Comments (0)  



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