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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? - I do, as long as you get me drunk or take me back to my childhood.
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05-24-2011 16:09 by
Marshall the Great
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If a super villain attacks my house whose only weakness is leftover soy sauce packets from the take-out place, he is so f'ked.
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05-24-2011 16:07 by
Marshall the Great
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I wish I had a job where I could frequently say, "If my calculations are correct..."
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05-24-2011 16:06 by
Marshall the Great
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Today I seen a hitchiker giving me a thumbs up.....I guess he like my Facebook status??
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05-24-2011 16:00 by
RUDEDOG
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anyone else noticed that mirrors look really sexy?
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05-24-2011 15:22 by
Teresa
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I wish I could find a drug dealer that could get me about 200 mg of Phuckitol.......
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05-24-2011 14:35 by
scottyp
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If I were a gynecologist I would name my practice "All Up In Yo Business."
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05-24-2011 14:01 by
Marshall the Great
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When someone says “let's go get a cold one,” I always drive to the zoo because I know that's code for “steal a penguin.”
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05-24-2011 13:57 by
Marshall the Great
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Injunction - the new fragrance for women by Imogen Thomas. Indiscretion - the new fragrance for men by Ryan Giggs.
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05-24-2011 13:24 by
miz
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What do you call a monkey thats always exploding? A ba-boom.
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05-24-2011 13:14 by
miz
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Netanyahu's wife needs to give Michelle Obama a tee shirt that reads, "Don't you wish your husband could be a man like mine?"
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05-24-2011 13:04 by
Bill
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wonders who says "open wide" the most, Dentists or Gynaecologists...
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05-24-2011 12:51 by
miz
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rael, I will trade my Obama for your Netanyahu and I will even throw in Joe Biden if you want him........
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05-24-2011 12:42 by
Bill
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not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink...I already have one
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05-24-2011 12:33 by
miz
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Chris Brown: If you had only used Whips & Chains, instead of Sticks & Stones, you may have avoided jail time...
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05-24-2011 12:24 by
Corinne1957
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thinking I could definitely meet my weight loss goal if I had to pedal to use the computer
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05-24-2011 12:16
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I smell bacon.....I smell pork! Run little piggies cuz I got a fork!
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05-24-2011 12:12
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I remember long ago I was going to make a big splash in this world...Turns out it was only a fart in the tub of life.
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05-24-2011 12:10
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Another fun day in Oz, toto
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05-24-2011 11:45
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just heard that Harold Camping is the new front running Republican presidential candidate
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05-24-2011 11:16 by
PODas
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