Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4850 of 5593

   messageicon No one knows the true meaning of desperation until you run over a banana peel in Mario Kart
←Rate | 05-28-2011 13:28 by Pichota Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment of panic when you accidentally hurt someone else's child and the parents are in the next room
←Rate | 05-28-2011 13:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got "White Boy Wasted" last night..  it's only right I go see The Hangover Part II today..  :)
←Rate | 05-28-2011 13:08 by @RonnieChapman Comments (0)  


   messageicon i love the people who say their company is priceless!!.. to me if it lacks a price, it more likely worthless!!
←Rate | 05-28-2011 13:01 by bfr5858 Comments (0)  


   messageicon •I have an amazing ability! I find objects just before people lose them. The police, however, call it theft.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 12:54 by Asia Comments (0)  


   messageicon •Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 12:46 by serina Comments (0)  


   messageicon The funny thing about life is, it can change your worst problem into the funniest joke. It just needs time.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 12:42 by serina Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the world's a stage, maybe some of us should get off.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 12:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment of panic when you clog someone else's toilet and you realize that don't have a plunger in the bathroom!!
←Rate | 05-28-2011 11:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The question isn't "Will Sarah Palin run in 2012?", it's "Who will be President in 2014 when she quits?"..
←Rate | 05-28-2011 11:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its better to have a long distance relationship as phone calls are cheaper than fuel prices
←Rate | 05-28-2011 06:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, there's so much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 02:41 by bigtimebrent Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a little disappointed.. I set three boobytraps last night and didn't catch any!
←Rate | 05-28-2011 01:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Loving my new underwear...at least somethings gripping my ass
←Rate | 05-28-2011 00:50 by Brett Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you imagine how fast those clowns who make balloon animals can roll a joint.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 00:27 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are talking behind my back you are in a great position to kiss my a@s
←Rate | 05-28-2011 00:00 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When girls or any women ask you "What?" In reply, it isnt cause they didnt hear you. Its because they giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 23:55 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snookie is so small and orange she works part time as a highway traffic cone!
←Rate | 05-27-2011 23:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "God has a sense of humor. Don't believe me?... go to Walmart and just look at people."
←Rate | 05-27-2011 23:52 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only date Calendars.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 23:26 by Mahdi H Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left