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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Life is a puzzle. Stop trying to place people where they don't fit.
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06-03-2011 14:42 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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A tongue may have no bones, but it can break hearts
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06-03-2011 14:40 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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Whenever you feel a warm breeze brush against you, that's the kiss I blew to you.
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06-03-2011 14:38 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..they're where you left them, IN THE FRIEND ZONE
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06-03-2011 14:37 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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The White House was saddened by the passing of Dr. Jack Kevorkian, whom it planned to name its first chairman of the ObamaCare Death Panel.
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06-03-2011 14:19 by
sully
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Whenever I ride the the bus I always sit with my eyes closed. I hate seeing pregnant, crippled & old women having to stand.
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06-03-2011 14:16
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Jack Kevorkian once said, "The money is okay, but the work is murder."
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06-03-2011 14:15
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Can pregnant people use the car pool lane?
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06-03-2011 14:06 by
hovo
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Glad to hear Dr. Jack Kevorkian died doing what he loved... dying.
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06-03-2011 14:04 by
Marymc
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How do I stay looking so slim?.... well, once a week I do a 40 hour famine....it's for a good cause.... you should sponsor me....
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06-03-2011 14:02
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dont force me to show my attitude...trust me m really good at it
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06-03-2011 13:58
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RIP Jack Kevorkian dead at 83. Final stats: 0 points, 0 rebounds, and 130 assists.
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06-03-2011 13:52
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Exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!
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06-03-2011 13:48
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I've noticed that my usage of profanity increases when I play pacman
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06-03-2011 13:34 by
Josh
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did NOT wake up this morning feeling like P. Diddy. :-(
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06-03-2011 13:12 by
Shayne
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jamming out to my Best of Rebecca Black Collection.
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06-03-2011 12:40 by
mustangdru
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It's true that fame is unimportant. No matter how great a man is, the size of his funeral usually depends on the weather.
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06-03-2011 12:33
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I missed my 5 minute window for a Jack Kevorkian joke. Dammit... now they have all been done to death.
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06-03-2011 12:13 by
@The69Sheriff
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You know how guys buy really large and expensive vehicles to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don't even have a car.
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06-03-2011 12:04 by
Marshall the Great
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Sorry used to mean that you won't do it again. Today it just means "I fcked up but I might do it again."
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06-03-2011 12:03 by
Marshall the Great
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