My girlfriend loves it when I talk dirty to her during sex. I'm pissed off at her though, so tonight when we make love I'm going to tell her how beautiful she is.
I just got diagnosed with a very rare disease. "The more I get older, the sexier and better looking I become". Don't worry, it's not contagious. There's no cure for it and it just gets worst everyday...
I went for a self-defence class last night. The instructor said, "I want you to take me by surprise and attack me" So when I saw him in Sainsburys the next day I threw a tin of beans at his head.
quit telling me how addictive the things I ingest are...you know what else is addictive?!!?! EFFIN FOOD..if you stop eating you will have withdraws too!! FREAKS!!