Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4834 of 5593

   messageicon Can pregnant people use the car pool lane?
←Rate | 06-03-2011 14:06 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Glad to hear Dr. Jack Kevorkian died doing what he loved... dying.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 14:04 by Marymc Comments (1)  


   messageicon How do I stay looking so slim?.... well, once a week I do a 40 hour famine....it's for a good cause.... you should sponsor me....
←Rate | 06-03-2011 14:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon dont force me to show my attitude...trust me m really good at it
←Rate | 06-03-2011 13:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon RIP Jack Kevorkian dead at 83. Final stats: 0 points, 0 rebounds, and 130 assists.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!
←Rate | 06-03-2011 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've noticed that my usage of profanity increases when I play pacman
←Rate | 06-03-2011 13:34 by Josh Comments (0)  


   messageicon did NOT wake up this morning feeling like P. Diddy. :-(
←Rate | 06-03-2011 13:12 by Shayne Comments (0)  


   messageicon jamming out to my Best of Rebecca Black Collection.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:40 by mustangdru Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's true that fame is unimportant. No matter how great a man is, the size of his funeral usually depends on the weather.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I missed my 5 minute window for a Jack Kevorkian joke. Dammit... now they have all been done to death.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:13 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how guys buy really large and expensive vehicles to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don't even have a car.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry used to mean that you won't do it again. Today it just means "I fcked up but I might do it again."
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pink had her baby girl last night.... What color is it?
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They always say that the hottest person at the party never gets approached because people are intimidated to talk to them. I'm just going to assume that this is me... It would explain so much.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bad ass are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you begin a sentence with “Don't tell anybody, but...”, the person you're talking to has already thought about who to tell.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still think if people put "whats on their mind" and were honest... statistically the most popular status update would be "sex."
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people "Happy Birthday," ever.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left