Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Everyone want to be your sunshine, but not me, I want to be your Moon so I can light up your darkest moments, when your sun is not around.!!!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 14:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NO ONE make any sudden moves,...the sun is out and I dont want you to scare it away.!!!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 14:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .If you have someone great in your life hold on to them and pull them close and keep them tight to you,if not someone else will.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attack life,... it's gonna kill you anyway.!!!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NO....Anthony Weiner did not tweet a pic of his weiner....he forward one of Clinton's from Monica's view!!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 14:28 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't understand why we call asteroids such a name when they are in the hemisphere, and hemroids so when they're on the ass!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 14:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anthony Weiner: I shouldn't tweet this pic. I'm married. Anthony's weiner: C'mon, do it. Who's gonna know.....
←Rate | 06-07-2011 14:13 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked
←Rate | 06-07-2011 13:33 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear neighbors, If you hear a lot of screaming and cussing please do not worry and/or call the police. I am cleaning out my garage and have Arachnophobia
←Rate | 06-07-2011 13:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon On-Star has made it so much more difficult for me to take my time when I'm robbing accident victims....:-)
←Rate | 06-07-2011 13:24 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to the movie theater snack bar! We have some crunchy popcorn, noisey cups of ice, crinkly candy bags, maracas, bubble wrap, and a f*cking parrot! Now silence your cell phones.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 12:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who figured out what kinds of sounds to make during karate was probably badly sunburned at the time.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear politicians, you're dumb enough as is, so I'd highly recommend you stay away from social media.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the people in front of me at the ATM always seems to be having some sort of major financial crisis?
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is fighting their own battle, to be free from their past, to live in their present and to create their future
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?"
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:35 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're the one who posted over a thousand pictures of yourself on-line, why does looking at them make me the weird one?"
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad once told me that, by definition, a leader is someone who has followers, and the more followers, the greater the leader. I think that was true right up until the advent of Twitter."
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:32 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon During a particularly rough storm the other night, local weatherman advised getting into your bathtub, covering yourself with a heavy blanket and wearing a bicycle helmet. I am ONLY watching that channel's news from now on..."
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  



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