Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon NOTICE: Helen Waite is now in charge of my complaint department. SO if you have any complaints - please go to Helen Waite.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 22:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Definition of pointless: Jobless people on Facebook updating their status to 'thank God it's the weekend'
←Rate | 06-10-2011 22:44 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon When I die, I want to be cremated regardless of cost... I feel like I've urned it.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 22:20 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon “When it Absowutewy, Positivewy has to be thewe ovewnight." ~ FuddEx
←Rate | 06-10-2011 22:19 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet people don't even wear capes in Cape Town.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 20:34 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a dream last night. I knew it was a dream immediately because the therapist agreed with me, the ex apologized, and I was wearing pants.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 19:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't run for fun! If you see me running past you, you better start running too because something is coming.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 19:55 by Marshall the Grat Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, I am reaching new heights, beating deadlines, achieving my goals without even being asked, staying committed & taking initiative. Today, I'm on leave!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 19:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon S.O.B.E.R. = Son on a B!tch, EVERTHING's REAL
←Rate | 06-10-2011 19:47 by Marshall Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever notice how awful your face looks in public restrooms full of fluorescent lights? Every cut, scrap, scratch, scar, scab, zit, bump, blemish, and pimple you had all seem to come out at the same time.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 19:44 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know God doesn't make mistakes but I question some of the places he put hair on the human body.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 19:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What would have happened if Libya's main export product was broccoli?
←Rate | 06-10-2011 19:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon when a phone,beeps,vibrates and flashes to tell you it is low on batteries its like a homeless person burning 50 $ bills to show you he's poor
←Rate | 06-10-2011 18:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you put a empty 40oz bottle to your ear , you can hear the ghetto .
←Rate | 06-10-2011 18:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Selena Gomez was rushed to a local hospital suffering from nausea and a severe headache. .....She's probably been infected by Bieber fever....
←Rate | 06-10-2011 17:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies just cuz he locks his phone when he leaves the room doesn't mean hes cheatin...Now if he locks his phone...then takes the battery out...then moves the bookshelf which leads to an vault that he puts his phone in...Then ok maybe hes cheating
←Rate | 06-10-2011 16:45 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I used to call my house after curfew wait for my mom to answer and say, 'I got it Mom' then hang up and stay out all night.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 16:38 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear hackers, Until you break the great firewall of China, I'm not impressed.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 16:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you heard of that brand new men's cologne that just came out called "Umpire"? It's for Foul Balls.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 15:37 by Bill Legarzia Comments (0)  


   messageicon "6 packs of smokes. A case of beer. 2 box's of condoms. A lotto ticket & $2.00 gas on pump 8" ... Now thats a friday night thats ready for a good time but aint going far!!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 15:24 Comments (0)  



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