Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon you know you've had too much to drink when you try to fax someone a fruit rollup.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon tongue effing a hot pocket.........oh wait, is that one of the highly inappropriate status messages that makes christians unfriend me?
←Rate | 06-12-2011 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone? It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 09:33 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a cialis caught in my throat...I've had a stiff neck for 36 hours
←Rate | 06-12-2011 07:27 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon The tv show American Pickers ought to be renamed to American Pickers & Hoarders
←Rate | 06-12-2011 07:26 by wildflowers Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I knit you a sweater, Computer, will you stop freezing?
←Rate | 06-12-2011 05:54 by Zap Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 05:24 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm old enough to know what's right and wrong, but I'm too young to care.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 05:22 by Dopey 420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon have you noticed that when somebody in a movie is told to look out the window they never go to the wrong one?
←Rate | 06-12-2011 05:10 by ARM Comments (0)  


   messageicon i am dating this really sweet homeless chic, she just asked me to move out with her
←Rate | 06-12-2011 02:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just looked in the mirror and saw your next boyfriend
←Rate | 06-12-2011 02:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I feel like you guys are only my friends for my statuses
←Rate | 06-12-2011 02:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 01:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I'm offering my "Tasting Menu" which is where I open the cans that got lost in the back of my cabinet and say, "Here, taste this."
←Rate | 06-12-2011 01:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon feels Ripped Off after having bought this book titled "How to Make a Woman Constantly Happy"..... 469 Blank Pages!! :-/
←Rate | 06-12-2011 00:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fake laugh you do when you don't understand what somebody just said to you. You're like :D but deep inside you're like o_O
←Rate | 06-11-2011 23:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out it was raining by looking outside. WTF, Facebook? You're supposed to tell me these things first!
←Rate | 06-11-2011 22:36 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because no one liked your "funny" status the first time you posted doesn't mean you should post it 6 more times.
←Rate | 06-11-2011 22:34 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon 75% of my regrets involve hitting "send".
←Rate | 06-11-2011 22:30 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
←Rate | 06-11-2011 21:04 Comments (0)  



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