Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I wish I could find a drug dealer that could get me about 200 mg of Phuckitol.......
←Rate | 05-24-2011 14:35 by scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon If I were a gynecologist I would name my practice "All Up In Yo Business."
←Rate | 05-24-2011 14:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone says “let's go get a cold one,” I always drive to the zoo because I know that's code for “steal a penguin.”
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Injunction - the new fragrance for women by Imogen Thomas. Indiscretion - the new fragrance for men by Ryan Giggs.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:24 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a monkey thats always exploding? A ba-boom.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:14 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Netanyahu's wife needs to give Michelle Obama a tee shirt that reads, "Don't you wish your husband could be a man like mine?"
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:04 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders who says "open wide" the most, Dentists or Gynaecologists...
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:51 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon rael, I will trade my Obama for your Netanyahu and I will even throw in Joe Biden if you want him........
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:42 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink...I already have one
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:33 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chris Brown: If you had only used Whips & Chains, instead of Sticks & Stones, you may have avoided jail time...
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:24 by Corinne1957 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking I could definitely meet my weight loss goal if I had to pedal to use the computer
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I smell bacon.....I smell pork! Run little piggies cuz I got a fork!
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember long ago I was going to make a big splash in this world...Turns out it was only a fart in the tub of life.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another fun day in Oz, toto
←Rate | 05-24-2011 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just heard that Harold Camping is the new front running Republican presidential candidate
←Rate | 05-24-2011 11:16 by PODas Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hangover 2 people Hangover 2.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 11:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon this guy predicting the apocalypse is camping? Seriously, all this brouhaha caused by one homeless guy?
←Rate | 05-24-2011 11:02 by ElvisCiccone Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guy's and girls have different ways of cleaning the toilet. girls uses a scrub brush while a guy pisses as hard as he can on the poop stains.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The "don't talk to me about kids until you have a kid" people are extremely annoying. I don't think I need to produce another human being to know it's problematic to let a 4-year old treat me like his b!tch.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 10:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is only my second day as a stay-at-home dad but I'm already confused. Do I get the fake tan or boobs first? And what's a zumba class?
←Rate | 05-24-2011 10:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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