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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Got in a fight. You should see the other guys....they are perfectly fine.
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06-14-2011 01:38 by
eaglet1122
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Why is it that whenever I wish someone a happy birthday they always assume Facebook reminded me? Do you ever think maybe just maybe I care that much to remember the day you were born.
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06-14-2011 01:31 by
KISSTOPHER
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An Arab invented the original mechanical clock, which is odd since Arabs are never on time.
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06-13-2011 23:23 by
Mahdi H
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Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
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06-13-2011 23:04 by
Jimmie Watkins
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Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong
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06-13-2011 22:48
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I still don't understand how finishing my food is going to save a starving child in Africa.
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06-13-2011 22:34 by
@The69Sheriff
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The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let's go off script. What are you wearing?"
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06-13-2011 22:30 by
@The69Sheriff
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People should STOP complaining about Facebook's privacy settings. If you want some PRIVACY, you should go back to Myspace.
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06-13-2011 22:01
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a LEADER, not a follower... But if we're walking into a creepy dark place, SCREW THAT! You're going first!
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06-13-2011 22:00 by
BEGO
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Teacher: From all this noise I assume you're done working Student: From all this b**ching I assume you're still single
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06-13-2011 21:58 by
BEGO
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I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.
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06-13-2011 21:33 by
BEGO
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Just learned the hard way not to scream hi to my friend jack on a plane.
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06-13-2011 21:33 by
Hijack
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I hate it when someone I don't like says something funny.
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06-13-2011 21:32 by
BEGO
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The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.
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06-13-2011 21:31 by
BEGO
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► Play the moments ▌▌ Pause the memories ■ Stop the pain ◄◄ Rewind the happiness. Be a remote in your life
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06-13-2011 21:09 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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Having kids is like a never-ending press conference: "No, you can't put the dog in the washer - next." "No, you can't really fly - next."
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06-13-2011 21:06 by
@The69Sheriff
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What's all this about Lebron being a Weiner?
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06-13-2011 20:02 by
Jennytheone
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Apparently, people go to "sex rehab" because there isn't a "got busted being stupid" rehab!
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06-13-2011 19:44
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Just had 2 thoughts during my massage. 1.I hope my body is not in an odd position when I die. 2.I don't think I've ever seen a live otter."
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06-13-2011 19:44 by
J. BIAZA
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The paper shredder will shred Pop-Tarts! I repeat: THE PAPER SHREDDER WILL SHRED POP TARTS!
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06-13-2011 19:10 by
@The69Sheriff
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