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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I wonder if we're "homed people" to them...
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06-15-2011 13:11 by
@The69Sheriff
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It's not my fault that my phone is more interesting than you.
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06-15-2011 13:04 by
Marshall the Great
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wonders why other peoples dumps smell worse then your own.
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06-15-2011 12:38
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says As a young child Bell, Biv, Devoe taught me the most important life lesson----Never trust a big butt and a smile....that girl is poison
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06-15-2011 12:21
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Back in my day there were only 151 Pokémon...
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06-15-2011 12:15 by
jejox
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Every girl wants to be the one that makes a player quit the game. But sometimes that's like being the zebra that wants to turn a lion into a vegetarian.
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06-15-2011 12:08 by
KISSTOPHER
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So, I'm single again, this time with no intentions of looking for another girl, this time I'm letting her find me.
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06-15-2011 12:07 by
KISSTOPHER
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you can always tell if there's a police car in our area... Everyone in our street flushes their toilets at the same time!
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06-15-2011 12:01 by
miz
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
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06-15-2011 12:00 by
Dopey420
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Lets cut to the chase here...How much will it cost me to get laid around here?
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06-15-2011 11:34
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She called it off because she found out she wasn't in the will.
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06-15-2011 10:14
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Don't worry Hef, Playmates are like buses, another one will come along in 30minutes.
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06-15-2011 10:11
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Hugh Hefner dumped at the alter! Thats sad after he wasted those whole 2 months getting to know her.
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06-15-2011 10:09
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let's jump to 2050, when I'm at the bingo hall checking out the hot little number with the walker and tramp stamp
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06-15-2011 09:50 by
Judge Coe
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Calling all my ex girlfriends today to tell them I have herpes. I don't really have it, I just don't want any of them to sleep with other people.
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06-15-2011 09:24 by
abbybaby34
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There'd be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
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06-15-2011 09:23 by
abbybaby34
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just bought a new pack of socks to avoid doing laundry tonight.
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06-15-2011 09:23 by
abbybaby34
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Love...it takes hostages and shows zero remorse.
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06-15-2011 09:22 by
abbybaby34
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The best way to win an argument is to play dead.
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06-15-2011 09:21 by
abbybaby34
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If you're an idiot, punch yourself in the face!
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06-15-2011 08:51
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