Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon When someone from customer service says, "that is an excellent question"... they're basically saying they don't have a clue about the answer.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 15:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate trying new clothes on in the dressing room and then looking at yourself in the mirror after putting your old clothes back on.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 15:08 by marq Comments (0)  


   messageicon The minute people fall in love they become liars
←Rate | 06-14-2011 14:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am watching a homeless dude outside of a building using his reflection in the window to help him shave.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 14:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. what do chinese people use? tooth picks?
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:45 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went to Walmart in my bum yard work clothes today ..but strangley did not feel out of place...
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy are there ever a lot of garages for sale in my neighbour hood..
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love how my laptopshasta a warning that says You should change your battery or switch to outlet power immediately to keep from losing your work. Lol "work". I wish I got paid to watch porn..
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:31 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon When will women ever learn? Never hold a man to anything he says when he is drunk. It's the alcohol talking and it will wear off. And he will just claim amnesia when he sobers up.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To my 23 friends who are online on Facebook chat at noon on a Tuesday. Get a job you losers.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:14 by Jackbrass Comments (2)  


   messageicon If I look intrigued while your talking to me it's because I'm thinking about how to give less f*cks about what you're saying.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)  


   messageicon I switched to Herbal Essences shampoo, but quickly discovered that I don't have a clit on top of my head like those women in the commercials.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to. When a guy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:55 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I'm afraid they'll be used against me in a court of law someday.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon No darling 56 guys didnt like your profile pic because you are "pretty." They liked it cause your BOOBS are hanging out.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon Ive made mistakes;been a mistake;met/been involved with some mistakes;learned from mistakes;will make other mistakes-I'm not perfect;but dont mistake me for an idiot.!!!
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:48 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't say you were stupid! I said “It's too bad you can't get by on your looks.”
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congressman Weiner's wife: "ANTHONY!!! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!"
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:46 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I use to say “That's How I Roll” until I fell down a hillside. It was much different than I imagined. Now I say: That's how I scream & bounce.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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