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If you've got nothing nice to say let's sit far away from each other and yell obscenities across the room just to p!ss people off.
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06-01-2011 11:06 by
Marshall the Great
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I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars & trucks team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sisters!
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06-01-2011 11:01 by
Marshall the Great
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If you're purchasing a Dollar Store pregnancy test, I think we both know you can't afford a positive.
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06-01-2011 10:58 by
Marshall the Great
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I could care less about Kim Kardashians wedding, the size of her ring or the size of her @ss!
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06-01-2011 10:36
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if I was any more stressed I would complain but I'm not so I wont. instead I choose to be thankful that fart didnt smell that bad.
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06-01-2011 10:31 by
creeooo
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Hey youtubers, if your clip wasn't funny the first time around chances are reshowing it in slow mo isn't going to make it any funnier.
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06-01-2011 08:55 by
Dopey420
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Alone is not bad, remember to be murdered is normally in the company off at least one other person
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06-01-2011 08:41 by
mhenry
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Some days it's just too hot for pants :)
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06-01-2011 08:15 by
@mollyfaerie
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I really thought my ex was joking when she said my obsession with the Monkees would cause us to divorce. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer.
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06-01-2011 07:24
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If it wasn't for professional wrestling the companies that make metal trash cans would go out of business
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06-01-2011 05:59 by
flinnie
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I won't take a bullet for ANYONE because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.
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06-01-2011 05:55 by
flinnie
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Happy Hurricane Season.......
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06-01-2011 05:19 by
sully
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How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
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06-01-2011 04:37
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Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak
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06-01-2011 04:36
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I was born intelligent - education ruined me
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06-01-2011 04:36
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NOTE: The term "Proper Sense" has now replaced the term "Common Sense" because Common Sense is NOT so common anymore!
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06-01-2011 03:00 by
ff1241
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I've just emailed "This is a robbery!" to my online bank support. Will they just put the money in my account or do I have to wait for an email back?
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06-01-2011 02:39
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I was in Quickstop earlier and the cashier said she felt like a zombie. I stabbed her in the eye with a pen. Better safe than sorry.
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06-01-2011 02:35
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I always feel a little guilty when I swallow my multi-vitamin with beer.
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06-01-2011 02:16 by
Mike M
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Get over here! --------------⇀ ➣➣➣➣ (O_O)
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06-01-2011 02:05
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