Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon How good something is has no bearing on how popular it will become.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 20:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all the women I've dated. If we have a secret love child together that you never told me about, just have them get me a giftcard for Father's Day. Thanks!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 20:06 by @Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer, you and me. In the kitchen. Now.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 19:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus
←Rate | 06-18-2011 19:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet
←Rate | 06-18-2011 19:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all those that use our competitors brand...Happy Father's Day From the people of Durex
←Rate | 06-18-2011 18:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♫ If you're crazy and you know it take your pills! ♫ *clap…clap*
←Rate | 06-18-2011 18:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear guys that keep sending me creepy messages telling me how much you want me: You have as much of a chance with me as a midget does of being the next NBA superstar.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 10 should be the limit of how many times you can go on Maury looking for your baby daddy... just sayin'
←Rate | 06-18-2011 18:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my women like I like my coffee....Ethically purchased from small farming cooperatives in South America and delivered to me on the back of a donkey.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 18:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is one of those days where I wish I could restore myself to the factory settings.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never hit a woman. No matter how bad the sandwich is.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon this is an encoded message only those who are worthy will be able to read: 370H-SSV-0773H
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you do when you have a Tiger chasing you from behind, a Bear on your right and a Cheetah on your left? GET YOUR DRUNK ASS OF THE MERRY GO ROUND!!!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lesson of the Day: This is your ass (_._) This is your ass on prison (_O_) . Any questions? Just say no to crime!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be starting group meetings at my house for people with OCD. Not because I have it, but because I know someone will get the urge to clean up my damm house! OCD'ers...Cheaper than maid service!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The longer I sit in a drive-thru, the more pennies I'm gonna pay with.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just hooked up with a woman whose ass has dimples. This is gonna be an interesting night. Goodnight everybody.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 16:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have written a list of all the good and bad things I wanna do tonight. And you are number one on both sides.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bigger the sunglasses, the crazier the chic.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 15:22 Comments (0)  



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