Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon ♥ LOVE always has it`s ``ERRORS`` sometimes we try 2 ``REFRESH`` then realyize it`s best 2 b ``SHUTDOWN`` but the hardest part is 2 ``RESTART`` your life and ``REFORMAT`` your HEART ♥
←Rate | 06-19-2011 13:06 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yield signs should just be a picture of a dude shrugging his shoulders.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 13:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Car dealerships: it doesn't matter how many balloons you put on the cars, I'm not going to randomly decide to pull in and buy one.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 13:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're lucky enough to still have a dad the best Father's Day gift would be to call the guy and ask his advice about something. Anything.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 13:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon We are one worldwide coffee shortage away from an actual zombie apocalypse.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 13:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone broke into my house the other day while I was at work. I think they got kind of plssed when they didn't find anything worth stealing because they left my place an awful mess.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 13:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI - I keep my phone on vibrate & carry it around in my underwear... so an especially big thanks to all who have liked or commented. :)
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the great things about looking so good is that I never have to explain why you should f*ck me.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've accepted the fact that I'll never be as funny as those novelty shirts from Spencer's.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever look at your ex while thinking "was I drunk for our whole relationship?
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:51 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I need to hold my girlfriend underwater in order to find her leak then I can throw a vinyl patch on her and go about my business.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Father's Day Dad! Whoever you are...
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was chillin' with my buddy and his wife walked in and said, "Happy Father's Day! You're so much more than the guy who used to buy dollar store condoms."
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Ex, please get out of my head and heart. Sincerely, someone who`s trying to move on.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:46 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook really needs a "pee on someone's wall" option.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon • Where does a woman put perfume? Where she wish to be kissed.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies.. Let no past relationship ruin your love life. Remember: "Love will only fail when you fail to love!" Keep moving!
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:40 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things a woman should know first before we start dating - My fav beer is your fav beer, My fav team is your fav team, you can have freewill on everything else.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 12:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says Happy Father's Day like waking up next to a stripper and wondering if she actually has a father to celebrate the day.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 11:49 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  



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