Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4774 of 5594

   messageicon Rain, and gloom every day......like Forks, but no hot vampires
←Rate | 06-23-2011 17:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if Justin Bieber has his own cologne...I def think its about time I came up with one of my own..Not sure what too call it tho..They say you should name it after things you like..So I am really leaning toward naming it "Ode to BoobiesVajayjayNinjaFight"
←Rate | 06-23-2011 16:55 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think there is something fishy about the fact that you can't access your cell phone battery anymore
←Rate | 06-23-2011 15:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before You go out with a widow, you must first ask her what killed the husband.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got so drunk last night I though a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a sign on the door of a Wal-Mart that said “It is illegal to set off fireworks inside the building.” I really wish I had been there on the day they decided it was necessary to post that.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 14:48 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women....... Can't live with them, can't get them to dress up in a Nazi uniform and spank you with a Bible.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 13:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Definition of a guy who knows nothing about women: A guy who thinks PMS is that american tv channel that shows like Nova and Antiques Roadshow come on.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 13:34 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 13:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see an argument on Facebook, I sit there refreshing the page while thinking to myself, "This is gonna be good!"
←Rate | 06-23-2011 13:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't stop drinking about you.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 13:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a dude put sunscreen on his back by squirting it on a wall and backing into it.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend needs to start putting her cell phone and keys right next to all the things I've done wrong that she will never forget.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want that job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who describe things as "better than sex" are having the wrong kind of sex.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the caller I.D. reads "unavailable" then so am I.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting sex from my gf is easy....I just have to buy her stuff..!!!
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the pill...... the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:22 by jeff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Without mentioning any names, I know my phone is smarter than some people I know.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My teacher always is talking to her imaginary friend named "Class".
←Rate | 06-23-2011 11:45 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left