Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 21:19 by TZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact is, whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say...
←Rate | 06-22-2011 20:26 by JuSTiNuRFaCe723 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just clicked a link that promised to show, "the world's largest breasts."... It was just a picture of Michael Moore taking his shirt off.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 20:21 by Billy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never realized how annoying some people can be. Then you opened my eyes.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 20:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whats the point of making cars really really fast if there is a speed limit? like, REALLY, WHATS THE POINT?!?!?!
←Rate | 06-22-2011 19:39 by NYCBOII123 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I hate going to a restaurant and my girlfriend orders food and ends up picking out of my plate.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 19:22 by BRian Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does homeowner's insurance cover Kool-Aid Man damage?
←Rate | 06-22-2011 19:10 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama's speech tonight: Me me me me I I I I me I me I me me me I my my me me I I my me. Oh, and I........
←Rate | 06-22-2011 19:09 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car goes from 0 to 60 in five minutes.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 18:21 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lady said her water broke. I offered her my unopened bottle of Aquafina but she kept shouting. She shouted so much an ambulance came.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 18:19 by Ryan Dumm Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what you're saying is "sexist" isn't like "perfectionist" or "saxophonist" and I should take it off the resume.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 18:17 by Ryan Dumm Comments (0)  


   messageicon Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don't cut it.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 17:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm on my death bed, I want my last words to be "Left rS. 10million in the..."
←Rate | 06-22-2011 15:50 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  


   messageicon If strippers are now called exotic dancers... Then all drug dealers should be referred to as exotic pharmacists
←Rate | 06-22-2011 15:42 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you show up at my house without calling first, you'd better be wearing a uniform and delivering the mail.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 15:36 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Contrary to popular belief, women really dress to impress other women.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 15:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dance like the photo isn't being tagged, love like you've never been unfriended, and tweet like nobody is following....
←Rate | 06-22-2011 15:22 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas, There is a direct correlation between the size of the mega-spoiler on your car and the unlikelihood of your getting laid.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a latte yet me pushing 5 of these little round tables together to make a daybed seems to be a big fugging problem at this Starbucks.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 15:02 by JC the Brainless Wonder Comments (0)  


   messageicon No man ever talked a woman into sex. 99% of the time, a woman knows she is going to have sex when she walks out the door. Men can only talk themselves out of it.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 15:02 Comments (0)  



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