Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles. Do your job.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 18:24 by SDG Comments (0)  


   messageicon We tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is it's not our loss, it's theirs. They left the one person in the world who would never give up on them.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 18:16 by SDG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of "single" as a marital status, they should put "independently owned and operated "
←Rate | 06-24-2011 16:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a guy who thinks women belong in the kitchen? Single.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 16:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon still very much single! So is now taking applications if you think your suitable for the position apply here the pay is terrible but the benefits are great...
←Rate | 06-24-2011 16:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Ma'am. I did NOT say your child is ugly. All I said was that I would fear for my life if he were ever to get wet… or eat after midnight. I'm sure you won't have to worry about pedophiles either.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 14:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Friday!! And to all my Atheist and Agnostic friends out there... T_IF!!
←Rate | 06-24-2011 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. - Mark Twain
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:56 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love means sharing your thoughts, your fears, your dreams, your hopes, your pin codes and passwords.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:44 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, just did my daily "walk of fame" where I go outside with my coffee and lie to squirrels about how I got laid last night.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I caught my girlfriend sliding down the hand rails of our stairs over and over... I asked her what she was doing, she said "I'm heating up your dinner!!!"
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll. Speed, Weed, birth control. Peace, Pot, Tequila shot. Jesus loves us stoned or not.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish the best for my ex-girlfriend. I really do. I hope she meets someone honest, friendly, and kind. Cause, you know, opposites attract.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "WTF! You too? I thought I was the only one."
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tequlia DOES make her clothes fall off! Okay, she passed out and somehow they "fell" off, but still.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish computer commands worked in real life. You make a mistake with your girlfriend = Ctrl+z. Your girlfriend dumps you = Ctrl+Alt+Delete. Your girlfriend starts seeing your best friend = sledge hammer to screen.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression!!!
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I googled 'understading women'... LMAO was the result.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just finished watching that movie where Julia Roberts has a lot of teeth.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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