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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Happy Catfish Day!!!
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06-25-2011 13:13 by
CountZero
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Just found out this Beanie Baby collection was not a great investment.
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06-25-2011 13:06 by
Rick H.
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Convincing a dog that I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician.
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06-25-2011 12:47
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c'mon people, gays have a right to be as unhappy as the rest of us... incidentally NYs divorce rate is about to go up...
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06-25-2011 12:35
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Why don't people scream when they get stabbed in movies?
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06-25-2011 12:02
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We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.
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06-25-2011 12:00 by
Marshall the Great
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If you've never seen an elephant ski you've never been on acid..........
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06-25-2011 11:58
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For men who think.."A woman's place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that's where the knives are kept.
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06-25-2011 11:56 by
Marshall the Great
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This Tequila tastes like future bad decisions.
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06-25-2011 11:54 by
Marshall the Great
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And I was like "No, Coke is NOT ok. I wanted a Pepsi." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
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06-25-2011 11:53 by
Marshall the Great
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A rice cake is a good way to tell your taste buds to go to hell.
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06-25-2011 11:50 by
Marshall the Great
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Chicken Pot Pie my 3 favorite things!
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06-25-2011 11:47
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
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06-25-2011 11:46 by
Marshall the Great
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Just filled up my gas tank and now I have to explain to the kids I don't have why there won't be a Christmas this year.
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06-25-2011 11:39 by
Marshall the Great
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I don't always delete people from facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend me and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends
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06-25-2011 11:37 by
ptv
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Someone gave me a CD rack yesterday, which would have been an awesome gift if this was 1994.
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06-25-2011 11:37 by
Marshall the Great
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I think facebook must put an option that requires a person to get permission first before tagging anyone in pics and notes..
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06-25-2011 11:34
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Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea...if you add commas.
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06-25-2011 11:31 by
BHams
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When your wife is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?”... don't answer.
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06-25-2011 11:25 by
Marshall the Great
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Nothing says "screw work, and screw personal hygiene" quite like last night's bar stamp on my hand.
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06-25-2011 11:22 by
Marshall the Great
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