Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Chicken Pot Pie my 3 favorite things!
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just filled up my gas tank and now I have to explain to the kids I don't have why there won't be a Christmas this year.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always delete people from facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend me and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:37 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone gave me a CD rack yesterday, which would have been an awesome gift if this was 1994.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think facebook must put an option that requires a person to get permission first before tagging anyone in pics and notes..
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea...if you add commas.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:31 by BHams Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your wife is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?”... don't answer.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "screw work, and screw personal hygiene" quite like last night's bar stamp on my hand.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone talks about finding the one that makes their heart skip a beat. Personally, I'm not looking to develop a heart problem.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever someone annoying starts talking to me, I immediately start looking for an "X" I can click on them to make them go away.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gotta keep things interesting. I can turn doing laundry into a scene from an Indiana Jones movie.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are tons of open seats, so why does the one next to me always look so inviting to really weird people?
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to change my name on facebook to 'NOBODY' so that anytime I see any boring status I will 'LIKE' it. It'll say 'NOBODY LIKES THIS'
←Rate | 06-25-2011 10:18 by annoyed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess I'll pick up my dog's poop this time since you're having a yardsale and all.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 09:25 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon the best sort of perfection in life, funnily enough, comes in the form of imperfection!
←Rate | 06-25-2011 09:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, technology is getting out of hand for me. I was looking through a pair binochulars this morning and when I finished I looked for the button to turn them off.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 09:09 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say your grandpa is looking down at you and smiling I'm just going to assume you also have one of those mean drunken roof grandpas.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 07:57 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure what's going on. C-3PO and R2-D2 just abruptly took off in a cruiser and said they were headed to New York.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 07:41 by Luke Skywalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a woman who doesn't think she belongs in the kitchen? Divorced.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 01:18 Comments (0)  



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