Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4763 of 5593

   messageicon Happy Catfish Day!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2011 13:13 by CountZero Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out this Beanie Baby collection was not a great investment.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 13:06 by Rick H. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Convincing a dog that I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 12:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon c'mon people, gays have a right to be as unhappy as the rest of us... incidentally NYs divorce rate is about to go up...
←Rate | 06-25-2011 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't people scream when they get stabbed in movies?
←Rate | 06-25-2011 12:02 Comments (1)  


   messageicon We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 12:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've never seen an elephant ski you've never been on acid..........
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For men who think.."A woman's place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that's where the knives are kept.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Tequila tastes like future bad decisions.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon And I was like "No, Coke is NOT ok. I wanted a Pepsi." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A rice cake is a good way to tell your taste buds to go to hell.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chicken Pot Pie my 3 favorite things!
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just filled up my gas tank and now I have to explain to the kids I don't have why there won't be a Christmas this year.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always delete people from facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend me and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:37 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone gave me a CD rack yesterday, which would have been an awesome gift if this was 1994.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think facebook must put an option that requires a person to get permission first before tagging anyone in pics and notes..
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea...if you add commas.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:31 by BHams Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your wife is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?”... don't answer.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "screw work, and screw personal hygiene" quite like last night's bar stamp on my hand.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left