Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon You are like Monday...nobody likes you!
←Rate | 06-27-2011 03:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, please for god's sake, there is a big difference between your diary entries and Facebook status updates. We really dont need to be informed about your period, your abortions or that STD you caught over the weekend. Keep that sh*t to yourself.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 03:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 60% of women carry condoms. The other 40% carry babies.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 03:42 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't confuse Facebook with your diary. We really don't need to know some of your personal sh*t.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 03:40 by BAD GUY Comments (0)  


   messageicon My lungs and liver are the best of friends when I'm at the bars
←Rate | 06-27-2011 02:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish someone would cast Mel Gibson and Tracy Morgan in a buddy action flick about a crime fighting rabbi and a drag queen.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 01:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon i still dont know what a holler-back girl is >.<
←Rate | 06-27-2011 01:35 by @isthatchilibro Comments (0)  


   messageicon When will women ever learn? If I pay all your bills, put a roof over your head, make sure you are well fed and dressed, buy you a car so you can move around, then the term INDEPENDENT WOMAN does not apply to you. I am your majority shareholder.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 01:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would it kill Barney to just eat a kid every now and then?
←Rate | 06-26-2011 23:44 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first 10 years of a girl's life are spent playing with Barbies. The next 10 years are spent trying to look like one. The next 30 years she slowly turn into Poor Pitiful Pearl.
←Rate | 06-26-2011 23:05 by quirkysally | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon DEAR HATERS, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT....'awesome' ends with "me"and 'ugly' starts with "u"
←Rate | 06-26-2011 22:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon People like to talk about other people....it diverts the attention away from them.
←Rate | 06-26-2011 22:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a theory that the chicken crossed the road simply because it wanted to.
←Rate | 06-26-2011 22:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama
←Rate | 06-26-2011 21:20 by Benjamin Whymark Comments (0)  


   messageicon vacation plans this year include a state wide convienence store hot dog tasting tour this summer
←Rate | 06-26-2011 21:13 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon taking applications and will soon be conducting interviews for anyone that is interested on giving my euology
←Rate | 06-26-2011 21:10 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon your greatest "Hello" and your hardest "Goodbye"
←Rate | 06-26-2011 21:05 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything
←Rate | 06-26-2011 21:05 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon worried about his financial future...even Daylight Savings Time has a better plan than me...
←Rate | 06-26-2011 21:03 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first 10 years of a girl's life are spent playing with Barbies. The next 10 years are spent trying to look like one.
←Rate | 06-26-2011 21:02 Comments (0)  



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